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The Human From a Dungeon 102
🕑 Added 2025-05-05 11:44:02 +0000 UTCChapter 102
Gali Morathi
Adventurer Level: 15
Dwarf - Calkutin
"Okay, do I gotta be the one to ask this?" Rebis asked in a whiny tone. "What the fuck are we supposed to do against ghosts?"
The Western Wasters had been suffering from success ever since we reported back to the Venator's Bureau. We hadn't skimped on the details, and the bureau had even investigated and confirmed what they could. This gave them the impression that they should give us all of the strange jobs that other hunters couldn't quite figure out.
Unfortunately, they seemed to have a backlog of weird missions and had been running us ragged ever since. Our entire winter had been spent in the country-side, solving mysteries like we're goddamned detectives or something. Every single quest thus far had been just normal shit causing weird shit to happen, hoaxes, or an easily killed monster that the locals hadn't heard of before.
We'd been so busy that we'd even leveled up a bit, and we'd finally been assigned a job that didn't require us to leave Talokam. We had been asked to investigate reports of a haunted manor on the outskirts of town. Mako and Rebis had argued against taking the job, but the bartender had quickly upped the ante to one gold apiece. That, combined with the fact that the job was to investigate and not to exterminate, quickly changed their minds. Sort of.
"There ain't no such thing," I replied. "And even if there is, we just have to use stabs, slashes, or spells to get rid of 'em."
"And what if none of that works?"
"Duh, we run."
"I don't like ethereal shit," Mako muttered.
"That's too damn bad," I replied. "You took the job, just like we did."
"I, for one, am excited about what we might discover," Ithrima added. "First-hand accounts of spirits are rare. We might even be able to publish our experience!"
"The reason that first-hand accounts are rare is because they don't fuckin' exist," I growled. "Keep your damned heads on your shoulders."
"It's probably just bugs or something," Heino agreed. "It's the season for the giant beetles to start lookin' for mates."
"Fuck," Rebis spat. "That might be worse than ghosts. Hate bugs."
While we were away, the Venator's Bureau had received several reports of strange sounds coming from the manor at odd hours. There had also been disappearances around the manor, but those had stopped. Of course, the previous owner of the manor had been a deranged noble who had tortured and killed several people, so the townspeople weren't exactly keen to peek their heads in to take a look.
"There it is," I sighed as the manor came into view. "Let's get this over with."
"Can we just pop our heads in?" Rebis asked. "I REALLY don't want to be the one to discover that ghosts are real."
"No," Ithrima and I said in unison, for vastly different reasons.
"Fuckin' bitches," Rebis grumbled to himself. "If I die, I'm gonna haunt the hells outta you."
"I'll take that risk," I growled. "'Cause ghosts aren't fuckin' real."
Even from the outside, it was obvious that the manor was in a very dilapidated state. However, it was also apparent that it had been very impressive before it was abandoned. As we got closer, I noticed that some of the gold and silver trim had survived.
"That's not a good sign," Mako pointed at the trim. "Even the fuckin' looters don't want nothin' to do with this place."
We paused in front of the manor and got in formation. I waited patiently for Rebis and Mako to finish preparing their gear, but it was soon clear they were stalling. Heino and I met eyes, and I sighed loudly.
"Fuckin' useless," I said, pushing past them. "C'mon Heino, let the cluckers hang back so they don't piss themselves."
I walked up to the front door, and just as I was about to turn the handle a crash came from within the manor. Heino pulled me back a step, and I drew my bow to cover him. He slowly turned the handle, then flung the door open and ran inside. Ithrima and I followed close behind him, but Mako and Rebis had to run to catch up.
The interior of the manor wasn't as dark as it should have been. The hole in the ceiling played a large part in this, but the candelabras lining the wall had been lit. We stepped further in, and I heard a scraping noise down one of the side corridors.
"Who goes there?" I shouted.
"Is Camdam," a voice said from the hall to our left. "Who- Wait! Customers?"
An excited plopping noise that I recognized as bare feet running on stone flooring sounded from the hall. It was a very disarming sound, but I kept my bow raised. Suddenly, a massive bakobold appeared from around the corner.
"Customers!" it said. "Wait, weapons? Why weapons? Robbers?"
"Holy shit," Rebis muttered from behind me. "No way..."
"We're not robbers, we're adventurers," I explained as the bakobold hefted a pike four times my height. "We were tasked with investigating the source of some odd sounds coming from this manor."
"Ah, makes sense," the bakobold said. "We's not opened yet, so customers would be weird. Robbers would be weird too, but... You sure you's not robbers?"
"What would there be to rob?" Mako asked.
"Our store. We sell stuff. Or gonna do, when we's opened."
"Wait, who's we?" I asked.
"Us kobolds. Answer question, tiny one. Are you robbers or no?"
"No."
"Oh, good," the bakobold sighed in relief. "Too many of you. Might have died. Good fight, though. Probably."
"Undoubtedly," Mako said, eyeing the creature up and down. "So... Kobolds are turning this abandoned manor into a store?"
"Yeah, we is. Uh, I should probably get li'lord. He likes talkin' to adventurers. You wait here, yes?"
"Sure," I said, lowering my bow and shrugging.
The bakobold nodded and ran back down the hallway. We stood silently for a moment, digesting our discovery. Kobolds. Opening a store. In a dwarven town?
"Hey," Rebis said, breaking the silence after several moments. "Do you think that these kobolds are the same ones that La-"
The pattering of several pairs of feet interrupted him. I fought the instinct to raise my bow, and before long several kobolds appeared alongside the same bakobold from earlier. One was wearing a crown made of fish skulls and various leaves. It took one look at us and jumped with excitement.
"You guys!" it exclaimed. "It's my friends! The Western Wasters!"
In all of my years as an adventurer, it never once occurred to me that I would one day recognize a kobold. It also never occurred to me that I would run into the one kobold that I knew by name within a supposedly haunted manor that was previously owned by a serial killer. Needless to say, I was shocked into silence. Most of my comrades felt the same, but Rebis was the type that could remain talkative even with his jaw removed.
"Ha! No fuckin' way!" he said. "Simeeth? Is that you?"
"Yeah!" the kobold started bouncing. "Why you guys here? You wanna buy stuff?"
"Buy stuff?"
"Yeah yeah! We makin' a store!"
"You're making a store in this manor?" I asked, recovering some of my sense.
"Yeps!" Simeeth beamed. "We's gonna sell stuff to the dwarves direct-like, no need to wait for caravan."
"How are you getting the stuff from your dungeon to this manor? It's a few hours away, isn't it?"
"Hidden tunnel! Some elves helped Hinthri find it!"
"Elves? Hinthri?"
My confused glance toward the other kobolds caught one of them waving at me in a bashful manner. It was the same manner in which a young girl with a crush would wave, which only served to deepen my confusion.
"Yeah, Hinthri and the elf were talkin' about mushrooms, and they finded the hidden tunnel from the dungeon to here," Simeeth grinned. "Now it only takes a few minutes to get to the shitty- ah, sorry, the city. Workin' on that word."
"Wait, wait, wait," Mako interjected. "Hold on. You mean to tell us that there's been a connection between the town and a dungeon that has housed both a master vampire and a lich?"
"Oh! Town way better word than shitty- er, city," Simeeth replied, then paused and rubbed his chin. "I guess you right about tunnel. But you friends with the Lord, so that not bad, right?"
"I... Well, yeah, but..." the massive orc trailed off and looked at us for confirmation of his sanity.
Rebis and Heino shrugged, but I was trying to decide which of my many questions to ask next. The disappearances were probably due to the vampires, and the kobolds probably wouldn't know anything about that. The noises were obviously the kobolds trying to convert the manor into a store. I finally thought of a question that I didn't have the answer to, but Ithrima beat me to it.
"What do you plan to sell?" our elven mage asked.
"Buncha stuff! We's gots all the stuffs that the caravan wanted, plus stuff that the caravan didn't wanted, and stuff that the elves traded," Simeeth paused and turned to one of the other kobolds. "Er, what did the elves traded?"
"The party of adventurers from the elvish lands exchanged coinage, and their caravans have been exchanging cloth, fur, and preserved foodstuffs, li'lord," the other kobold explained. "I'm afraid we cannot exchange the foodstuffs, though."
"Why's not?"
"They are quite delicious."
"So?"
"We are eating them far too quickly to sell them, li'lord."
"Ah, yeah, okay," Simeeth turned back to us. "We also gots weapons and handmade goods. Baskets, bracelets, things like that."
"By those above, you lot are gonna open a general store in a haunted manor," Rebis sighed.
"What's haunted means?"
"That word typically refers to a location that is host to the undead, li'lord," the other kobold answered.
"Undead?" Simeeth cocked his head. "Like the Lord? So... Our home is haunted?"
"I... Well... Huh..." the other kobold trailed off, appearing to have an existential crisis for a moment. "Y-yes, li'lord. I suppose our dungeon is, technically, haunted."
"There was the suckers too. They were undead, right?"
"Y-yes li'lord."
"If it helps, haunted usually means ghosts," Rebis explained.
The kobolds, who had been giving each other looks of discomfort, turned to stare at Rebis in unison with their heads cocked. It happened precisely enough that it could have been mistaken for a military maneuver. Then, the big bakobold sighed and shook his head.
"Ghosts not real, tiny one," it said. "Even hatchlings know that."
"Don't be mean, Camdam," Simeeth scolded. "He just tellings joke that we don't get. He knows that ghosts not real. Right, Rebis? You know ghosts not real, right? Tells him you know that ghosts not real."
Rebis stared at the kobolds, and then glanced at us. When his eyes met mine, I grinned wider than I'd ever grinned in my life. His glance turned into a glare.
"I do not wish to discuss this matter any further," he grumbled.
"But you know they aren-"
"No further, Simeeth."
"Rebis, friend, peoples die all the time, everywhere," Simeeth spread his hands. "If ghosts was real they would be all over the place! There would be more of them than us, yes?"
Rebis treated Simeeth to a cold stare and remained silent. Mako shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck. I, to my credit, did my best not to laugh uncontrollably.
"We should set Rebis' childish world-view aside for a moment," Ithrima said with a mean chuckle. "Have you obtained the proper trade permits to operate a store, Simeeth?"
"We gots the paper thingie from the caravan," Simeeth said. "They said it was super important. Is that what you means?"
Ithrima and I shared a nervous glance.
"Maybe," she said. "Would it be possible for me to see it?"
"Yeah! Camdam, you fast," Simeeth poked the extra-large bakobold. "Go get paper thingie, pleases."
"Yes, li'lord," the bakobold said with a bow.
Bakobolds are, on average, slightly larger than a well-built orc. Camdam, however, was even bigger than Mako. Yet, the speed at which he disappeared down the corridor was enough to set me on edge.
I wasn't the only one. The five of us stared, stunned, at where the bakobold had been only a moment before. It took a few moments for the shock to wear off.
"So... Uh... Li'lord?" Heino asked.
"Yeah?" Simeeth asked in turn.
"Oh, no, I mean what does it mean?"
"What does what mean?"
"What does Li'lord mean?"
"Oh. It means little lord," Simeeth shrugged nonchalantly. "The Lord has gone to teach in the Unified Chiefdoms. The tallest chief invited him to, and he really wanted to, so he put me in charge of kobold developmentals and care."
"When will he be back?" I asked.
"I don't know," Simeeth sighed sadly. "He has been gones all winter. His paper said that he might be back to checks on us after summer, though."
"Ah, I'm sorry to hear that."
I briefly heard the pattering of feet, but before I could recognize the sound Camdam was already standing beside Simeeth, holding a scroll. Simeeth thanked the bakobold, took the scroll, and offered it to Ithrima. She immediately unfurled it and began to read. A moment later, she let out a sigh.
"This is what I was afraid of," she said. "This document grants you the privilege of trading with an intermediary."
"So... Is not a trade permit?"
"It is, just not the type you need."
"There's different kinds of trade permits?" both shock and confusion became apparent on the kobold's face.
"Oh my, yes. Yours allows you to sell in bulk to any merchant registered with the town. The permit that you require, however, would allow you to set up an area to house and sell goods. There are also permits for temporary vendors, like street stalls or a traveling caravan, as well as permits for importing and exporting goods from outside of the Empire of Calkuti."
"I think they may need that last one, as well," I added.
"I don't think so," Ithrima shook her head. "Their residential address lies outside of the town borders, so as long as they're accepting the imported goods there and transporting them here via the tunnel, they shouldn't require an import permit."
"So... Can we gets the permit thingie?" Simeeth cocked his head.
"Maybe. If I recall correctly, every type of trade permit requires an endorsement. The Venator's Bureau endorsed this one, so they might be able to endorse the type of permit that you need, too. But there are two potential issues that I can see."
"What are they?" I asked.
"The first would be the ownership of this manor. If the rumors surrounding the building are correct, it's most likely owned by the Talokam Municipality. The town will likely have been trying to offload this property for quite a while, so if we suck up to the proper people we'll be able to buy it for dirt cheap. However, if someone else owns it, we'll have to hunt them down and try to convince them to sell it. We'll have to take care, otherwise they'll try to fleece us."
"I see. And the second potential issue?"
"Well, the trade permits require signatures from all parties involved. It looks like Larie signed this one, so I'm guessing the formalities were taken care of in the dungeon. To get the proper permit to open a store, though, we're going to need to jump through some bureaucratic hoops..."
"Which means we have to do this in the capital building," I sighed.
"Yes," Ithrima nodded. "And we're going to have to take Simeeth with us."
Comments
Ben Bass
TYFTC! Of course there will be bureaucratic hoops to jump though to get the right permits. Now what if Larie and his family own the manor, or would the Kobolds be able to buy the manor outright now to make it easy for them to start their store?
Aerowarrier
Camdam seems pretty cool. Wonder what kinda skills he’s got
