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The Human From a Dungeon 82
🕑 Added 2024-12-16 11:36:27 +0000 UTCChapter 82
Nick Smith
Adventurer Level: 7
Human – American
The otherworldly pull finally subsided, and I struggled valiantly to keep my breakfast down again. Part of me knew that I would feel better if I threw up, but I somehow managed to win the fight against my stomach. My eyes, however, were caught in the conflict and became bleary. I rubbed them, and Mumuldobran was waiting to greet me once they cleared.
"Judging by the current state of the battlefield, I assume everything went according to plan?" the King of Arch-Fae asked.
"We had a plan?" Tits countered.
"I... You know what I fuckin' mean. You two destroyed the vampire general, right?"
"Yeah," I said, trying not to show my feelings on the matter. "He's... He's not getting up from that."
Mumuldobran's face softened at my tone, but only for a moment. It stood and strode over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I met its gaze as it let out a small sigh.
"I am sorry, Nick," it said. "You are young for your kind, and this must have been... Stressful for you. Perhaps even difficult. However, you did it, and have reaffirmed your friendship with the fair folk of the Deepwyld Forest. That is certainly an achievement worthy of note."
"Y-yeah," I replied. "Yeah, you're right."
"My words are not meant as hollow comfort. Friendship is commonplace amongst mortals, but commitment to and maintenance of such relationships is a precious rarity to your kind. Very few would risk their lives to reaffirm their friendship to the fair folk without the additional promise of reward. It's commendable, Nick."
"Tits didn't really give me a choice," I chuckled.
Tits laughed at the remark, and Mumuldobran smiled slightly and gave my shoulder a soft squeeze.
"Give yourself a little more credit than that," it said. "Despite the... Rushed nature of Tits' teleportation, you made the choice to complete our request. If you are under the impression that you didn't have a choice in the matter, than it truly didn't occur to you that you could have simply said no at any point. That speaks volumes about your character."
Mumuldobran patted my shoulder and returned to its seat. I was tempted to join it, because the sudden drop-off in adrenaline was making me tired.
"You should feel good about this, Nick. Even the fair folk outside of the Deepwyld Forest have noticed your actions here today, and you'll find that most of them will give you a much warmer reception than they otherwise would," Mumuldobran said. "Which will come in handy, considering the deal that Yulk and Nash made."
"Deal?" I asked.
"Indeed. Tits, could you retrieve the Alta brothers?"
"I could," Tits said.
Mumuldobran and Tits stared at each other for a moment. Then, a devilish grin spread over Tits' face. Mumuldobran growled a little and rolled its eyes.
"For the sake of all fornication," the King of Arch-Fae muttered. "WILL you PLEASE retrieve the Alta brothers, Tits?"
"Absolutely, my king," Tits said with a sarcastic bow. "I shall make my return post-haste with the orcs in tow."
A vortex of black and white suddenly appeared and enveloped the snide arch-fae. With a balloon-like pop, Tits and the miniature storm disappeared. My knees suddenly buckled a little, which prompted me to take a seat on the ground. I debated asking Mumuldobran more about this deal, but before I could another portal appeared, depositing Tits, Nash, and Yulk next to me.
"Yep. Much easier on an empty stomach," Nash said.
"Quite so," Yulk replied. "If one didn't have to eat, it would be an extremely convenient method of travel."
"I'm jealous," I said in a tired tone. "I wonder why it's so hard on the stomach."
"It's because wylder don't have to eat," Algebrun said, suddenly appearing behind me. "As such, most wylder are unfamiliar with the function of mortal stomachs. So when a stomach is actively performing its function, it is difficult for most wylder to conceptualize and transport it through the fair-realm."
"Conceptualize?" I asked.
"Yes. When we pass through the fair-realm, we destroy our flesh and make new flesh when we wish to enter this realm once again. This is because the realm of the wyld is a plane of concepts, not physicality. As you can imagine the things that make physical flesh work properly on this plane do not work properly in the fair-realm and can cause... Negative reactions."
"What sort of negative reactions?" Nash asked warily.
"Well, take the conceptualization of states of matter, for instance. On this plane certain variables must be met for a liquid to become a solid or vice versa. In the fair-realm, it's a bit more random. So if your flesh comes into contact with a conceptualization of the states of matter, it could become liquid or much more solid than it should be, causing it to lose its function when it returns to the mortal plane."
"So every time we've been teleported, we've risked-"
"No, not at all," Algebrun clarified with a smile. "When we pull you into the fair-realm, we convert you into a conceptualization of yourself. This prevents other conceptualizations from interacting with your physical form without your express consent, which you are unable to grant because you don't know how."
"Yep, we turn your factiness into theoriness and suck you through our home-plane to move you faster," Mumuldobran added with a chuckle.
"So because Tits and Veern don't know how stomachs work, they weren't able to fully conceptualize them?" I asked.
"Not quite. They weren't able to conceptualize the FOOD within them," Algebrun explained. "Or rather, how the food and stomach were interacting."
"Yeah... I kind of just took a wild guess," Tits said.
"So the food in our stomachs was the problem?" Nash asked. "What, was it turned from liquid to solid or something?"
"I'm not certain, but there's much worse that can happen to actualized objects within the fair-realm. It would appear that we were fortunate," Algebrun said with some hesitation. "My apologies, it didn't occur to me earlier."
Tits walked over to me and leaned toward my ear. I fought the urge to shrink away.
"Looks like you should definitely forget about what I mentioned earlier," the flirty arch-fae whispered to me.
"Yeah," I replied quietly.
Everyone looked contemplative for a moment, but then Mumuldobran stretched with a big sigh, breaking the silence.
"So... What are the vampires up to, Algebrun?" Mumuldobran asked.
"Once the thralls stopped moving, the brood broke under the strain of our attacks and their leaders called for them to retreat. Then the retreat order came for the entire army. We're attacking their flanks as they march, but they'll be out of the forest relatively soon."
"They headed toward the orcs?"
"Yes."
"Okay, I'll send word to let them know," the King of Arch-Fae said. "It would appear that you three have served your purpose. Admirably, in fact. So admirably that you've earned your reward."
"Reward?" I asked. "Was that the deal you made?"
"Well, yes. I offered them a reward for their help. Your reward, incidentally, is the reaffirmation of our friendship," Mumuldobran grinned. "It's a better reward than it sounds, I promise. But Yulk and Nash helped on the front lines, and so it's my turn to uphold my end of the bargain."
Nash gave me a smug grin and I rolled my eyes at him.
"I agreed to do everything in my power to help you get home, Nick," Mumuldobran continued. "The task is beyond MY capabilities, but my power extends beyond matters of magic or physicality. So I've done a silly thing and contacted the Court of the Wyld on your behalf."
Algebrun's eyes widened and Tits gasped. I looked at them hoping for clarification, but their shocked expressions provided no answers. Nash looked as confused as I felt, but Yulk appeared to be trying not to bounce with glee.
"You didn't," Algebrun said in a near whisper.
"I did, but don't worry. Whilst they do not favor me or mine, they owe me favors that are eons old. Passing the brother's rewarded favor onto the court, even though it's an absolutely silly and mortal custom, is technically within my power."
"So... What does that mean?" I asked. "Are going to meet them?"
"Yes. You will appear before the court and explain your plight. They'll have many inane questions and snide remarks, but if they have knowledge that can aid you they will share it. Though I should warn you, if that knowledge is sufficiently sensitive they may require more of you. A quest or some-such."
"When do we leave?" Yulk asked quickly.
"Well, summer's nearly finished and the court has a full schedule. Since court isn't held in autumn or spring, you'll have to wait until next summer."
"Next summer? Wait, if court isn't held in spring or fall, what about winter?"
"Absolutely not," Mumuldobran laughed. "The Summer Court isn't exactly friendly to mortals, but the Winter Court is completely and irrevocably hostile to your kind. Even if I held any sort of sway with them, your torture and death would be almost assured were you to meet with them."
"I'm confused. You said 'The Court of the Wyld', but there's two of them?" Nash asked.
"In a way," Mumuldobran sighed and pulled out another cigarette. "I suppose to mortals such things are quite complex. The Court of the Wyld is one entity with two faces. You see, the Queens of the Court believe that a being known as Mother Earth gave birth to this plane, despite the higher ones firmly stating that is nothing more than a fantasy. But belief is different with wylder than it is with mortals. It's far more tangible. Part of the teachings of Mother Earth is that summer is the season of life and winter is the season of death. This forces the Queens of the Court to undergo a sort of... Metamorphosis with the passing of each season. This metamorphosis takes the entirety of spring and autumn and causes a massive shift in their personalities."
"There was once a time that all wylder were forced to be beholden to these beliefs," Algebrun added as Mumuldobran lit his cigarette.
"Really? What happened?" I asked.
"Nobody knows," the King of Arch-Fae said while blowing smoke. "Used to be that each type of fae would only appear during a specific season. Blood fae woke during summer, bone fae woke during winter, fairies appeared during spring, and arch-fae appeared during autumn... That sort of thing. But one day we all woke up, free from the Cycle of Seasons. Those that held firm in the belief of Mother Earth stayed with the Court. The rest of us severed our ties to the Court and created a new cycle."
"The Cycle of Fairness," Tits added with a nod.
"What is the Cy-"
"No," Mumuldobran interrupted my question. "While you have reaffirmed your friendship to us, Nick, there are still some things that we must keep... Private. The cycles that we abide by allow our existence upon this plane, and that is all you need to know. Further knowledge of these cycles can give you an unacceptable amount of power over us, and even if you were not to use that power there are many that would seek to steal it from you if they learned you have it. Better to not risk it."
"Oh, like with naming Tits and Algebrun. I understand. Is that why I don't see it in your memories?" I asked Algebrun.
"No, only those who have need of the knowledge possess it," Algebrun said. "When you received my memories, I was akin to a freshly born babe. It wasn't until you named me that I was made aware of the Court, the fair-realm, the Cycle of Fairness, and many other things."
"I see..."
"How do the Queens run the court?" Yulk asked. "Is it a meritocracy like the Kings?"
"No, it's a strict hierarchy based on age," Mumuldobran chuckled. "The only way to move up that ladder is for someone to kill the one above you. If you do it yourself or have someone do it for you, you're excommunicated until you die and are reborn. And, of course, it only lasts until the next court when the Queen that died is reborn. Everything else is dreadfully boring bureaucracy. Oh, except for one thing. The cycle that the Queens follow inhibit their interactions with the higher ones, so they aren't beholden to the same laws that we are."
"Really? So they don't become undead if they... Break the rules?"
"That's right. Instead, all actions made by those that follow their cycle are known by the Court and punishment is handed out as appropriate. Tends to be quite severe."
"I have so many questions," Yulk said, practically drooling.
"I'm sure you do," Mumuldobran smiled. "While I can admit that I enjoy your curiosity, the day grows long. It nears time for your departure. Algebrun, give Nick the thing."
Algebrun walked up to me, gently grabbed and opened my hand, then placed a necklace in it. The chain of the necklace shined brilliantly in the light that made it through the trees, and the pendant that was attached to the chain was shaped like an oak leaf. I rubbed my thumb the pendant over it and realized that it felt like an oak leaf, too.
"What's this?" I asked.
"That is a token of our friendship. We called upon you, in a way, so now you have the ability to call upon us," Mumuldobran said. "It allows all wylder that are beholden to the Cycle of Fairness to leave their forests and join you, wherever you are. But each time you use it you will owe us a favor, so do so sparingly."
"Got it."
"Good. Now, give me a moment."
Mumuldobran took a heavy drag of his cigarette and its eyes rolled into its head. We watched in silence as the King of Arch-Fae sat frozen. When it finally recovered, it blew out the smoke and shuddered a little.
"The higher ones want you to visit High Chief Ulurmak," it explained. "I'll let him know you're on your way. Algebrun, if you please."
"Alright," Algebrun said. "Please grab each other's hands, and don't let go."
With a small sigh and a knot in my stomach, I held Yulk's hand. Yulk and Algebrun took Nash's hands.
"May you find fortune," Mumuldobran said.
"Bye Nick!" Tits waved.
Before I could reply, darkness enveloped my vision yet again.
Comments
Ben Bass
TYFTC! I love the background on the Fae, and the ‘schism’ about the court and seasons. Love the bits of world building, they really add a nice depth to the story!
Dale
I wonder what Ulurmak will say to the boys pooped out of a fae portal. Assuming algebrun is gonna dump them in his office
David Ellis
I wonder if there's a different group of fae that follow a Cycle of Unfairness?
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