blackkeyincubus
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Dialogue Update: Chapter 4 (108-115, 118-122, 124-130, 133-142, 143-145)
🕑 Added 2021-08-15 15:27:13 +0000 UTCYuh
Got another storyline/dialogue update for ya!
Recap: I've been reworking certain dialogue scenes/pages/parts of the story in preparation of the print version of BKI, Volume 1.
The next dialogue update/round of edits I worked on were from Chapter 4. The changes I will be implementing here are as follows:
- General retouching/reworking of most dialogue & speech bubbles (wording, positioning, flow, etc.)
- Narrative edit on page 120-122: I felt that Norman needed an overhaul in character development. His character was very 2-dimensional before, and now with the new dialogue edits I think he fits better as a well-rounded person with wants and desires. Or at least I feel like his character makes more sense in the story outside of being Cal's love interest. Also, I drew on my own experiences with anxiety and writing the similarity between him and I felt very healing 💗
- FX text "Shoom" added to Page 133
- Slight narrative edit on Page 138: I felt the previous statement Gam made about how Cal would protect Norman's life was non-starter/redundant. We already know Cal is starting to care about Norman so it felt like I needed to change it to something more...interesting. I thought changing the second stipulation to the new dialogue would shake things up a bit. The funny part about this change though is that this new dialogue part is actually the original idea I created in the script when I sent it to Daryl. I changed it to the part about protecting Norman's life after seeing the finished pages. When this chapter was in production, I felt off about the original idea of having Cal not be able to lie to Gam, but now I see it was the right choice so I added it back in 😂 It'll be really fun to play around with in future chapters.
Lmk what you think! Have a wonderful day/evening! 💕
-J
© James Schleisman February 2020 All Rights Reserved.
Comments
Jamie Schleisman
Yeah when I re-wrote that dialogue bubble I was like, this needs to be UWU cute 💕
Muugmen
“I think I’m really starting to like you” - I’m literally melting this is so cute ❤️
jericho
I LOVE THIS STORY!!!
