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Dialogue Update: Pages 175 - 178
🕑 Added 2021-07-17 21:23:25 +0000 UTCHey y'all! 🤓
Got another storyline/dialogue update here.
Just a recap: I've been reworking certain dialogue scenes/pages/parts of the story in preparation of the print version of BKI, Volume 1. The next hole in the story that I wanted to patch was this scene in Chapter 5 where we start to learn a little about Norman's parents.
The original pages 175-178 were the second largest hole in the story and I just hated re-reading them for how forced the scene felt. It was lacking in a lot, mainly set up and development. So I decided it needed an overhaul.
The changes I will be implementing here are as follows:
- Reworded/reworked the dialogue scenes from 175, 177, & 178
- Remove page 176 (and save for a future chapter where it fits better in the story)
- Rewrite the narrative so that the focus isn't as heavy on Norman revealing everything about himself in the span of 3 pages.
SO...
With this update, I feel like the scene flows a LOT better in Chapter 5 because we still see Norman behaving in a semi-reserved fashion with Cal through their growing relationship, but we also start to get a glimpse as to what Norman's family dynamic is like outside of Gam and his housemates.
I also think the story just breathes better with this step back from the original dialogue/layout of these pages. Like I said, when I went back and re-read it the story still made sense...it just felt really forced.
Lmk what you think! Have a wonderful weekend 💕
-J
© James Schleisman August 2020 All Rights Reserved.
Comments
Jamie Schleisman
I love the evolving dynamic of their relationship too. It's so constrained behind the scenes but so loving and open face-to-face
Allan Meyer
Gosh Calman / Nol is so f-ing adorable. Just can't get enough of these two. They're playing with fire, but still...
Jamie Schleisman
Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.
Muugmen
Are we gonna see Normans sister in later chapters? (from the painting in gam’s office)
