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Comic Script 012 - Chapter 3, Pages 69 & 70
🕑 Added 2020-07-01 17:00:07 +0000 UTCHey friends 👹
For this script post, I just wanted to show the dynamic of pages 69 and 70. Plain & simple, I know, but I love this transition in movement, dialogue, and art 😆
Sometimes my writing can be complicated. Sometimes even too complicated. I add words where there don't need to be words. I add dialogue that's waaaay too freakin long, lol.
But Daryl really helps me bring out the best in the comic vision because he's great at reading a scene. He's a master at depicting dynamic movement through colors, body language, and facial expressions. It really helps me adjust dialogue to better fit the comic page's flow.
As a golden rule/tip for comic writing: KISS (Keep It Simple, Sis). My writer's instinct is to always go for grandiose verbiage and drawn-out dialogue, but often times a simple sentence of four words gets the same point across. Plus, shorter sentences read faster and make comprehension much easier on the reader.
Like, even looking at these pages now, I can see some edits to dialogue to make the pages flow better. Don't get me wrong, someday I might adjust them. But I kinda like them as they are now.
I guess your writing is about what you make of it. However you decide to finish it is how it will be finished.
(Aka, love your work because it's what you made and how you decided to make it)
Here's the finished comic art for Pages 69 & 70 as a reference:
That wraps up this script post! Feel free to message me or comment on this post with any questions or feedback you have :) Thanks for reading!
-J
Black Key Incubus, Chapter 3 Script, Page 69 & 70 – © James Schleisman June 2019 All Rights Reserved
Black Key Incubus, Chapter 3 Comic Art, Page 69 & 70 – © James Schleisman November 2019 All Rights Reserved
Comments
Jamie Schleisman
really though, who would've thought that one bit of advice would make all the difference
Allan Meyer
But seriously, I love this scene because in two pages we get Norman's inexperience and panicky expedience in the face of the (currently nameless, faceless) interrogator. Contrasted with Cal's suave nonchalance- that panel of him doing "the good hair" by tying up his glorious locks still raises my pulse.
Allan Meyer
The most notable advice I got from a writing pro was to "tell it in one sentence."
