IHaveHidden
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Chat Chapter 126 (Weak)
🕑 Added 2024-09-19 03:14:43 +0000 UTCAgain I felt like I was on the back foot. The entire situation with Ashley felt like it was spiraling out of my control but the results were only for my best. Who could really complain when his girlfriend started forming a Harem for you?
I could. I could complain about that. It was not like I did not like the appeal of having a Harem. It’s a man’s romance to have women fawning over you viewing for your affection because of how cool and awesome you are. I would be a hypocritic if I said that the fantasy did not entice me.
No, it was not the situation that drove me mad nor was it the lack of control I had here. It was the reasons that this was happening that was hurting me. Ashely accepted Rias into this in some sort of vain hope of holding onto a budding friendship. I could excuse that as that as that was about Ashley’s feelings. The situation with Narcissa was different.
Ashley barely knew Narcissa and the only reason she was allowing this to happen was because she knew it would hurt me to reject her. That I was weak enough to led my heart wander when faced with something I wanted. That thought disgusted me but I knew that it was just the reality of the situation.
I was greedy,obsessive, and more importantly I felt the emotions wrapping around me like whips. I disliked upsetting others and for those that I genuinely cared for I wanted to give them the world. But that led them to giving me more of themselves than the situation warranted.
My mouth would spew sweat words as I desperately tried to connect with those around me. A part of me was probably seeking those affections as that was probably the one thing I craved above all else. I hated the situation I was creating but at the same time I wanted it.
Conflicting emotions of desire and repulsion from my own greedy nature.
I waved those thoughts off. Ashley did not agree with Narcissa joining this strange situation. No, she was just telling me to hold off on rejecting her. At least that was the thought I told myself to get through this.
I will admit how I felt about Narcissa was a bit different. I was not truly Severus Snape but that man made up the vital building blocks of who I was. His memories and feelings dyeing me in his colors. So I was frankly baffled that she managed to like me as I was back then.
Baffled but at the same time I felt my heart pound incessantly in my chest. Narcissa saw all that Severus Snape was and loved him for it even if she never could have had him. The part of me that was Snape was screaming in joy and pain.
The young boy who wanted the world to make sense to him. The boy who was afraid of the touch of others but was so desperate for the affection others enjoyed. The young boy who clung so desperately to the only person who cared for him.
The young boy who felt like he was undeserving of love. That no matter what he did he could not win the affection of anyone. The boy who cloaked himself with misanthropy and rage to hide from the pain of being alone.
That boy learned that there was someone out there who loved him despite all the negative things he saw about himself. Even the Lily he created in his mind did not feel that way about him. Now he knew, he knew that there was someone out there who would have taken him out of the never ending cycle of hatred he had for himself.
The past of Severus Snape and Ashley Graves really had too much in common.
I was not that Severus Snape but those feelings still beat in my chest. I had forged bonds and love and I was determined to keep them but a part of my heart will always beat for Narcissa for what she had done. Ashley was right in that way. I could not bring myself to push Narcissa away, not now and I was not sure if I ever would be.
I let out a sigh and tried to not think about it. I had things I needed to take care of after all.
The Prince family had a large catalog of patented potions after all. Potions that spanned from accelerating the growth of turnips to potions that offered the user the speed of vampires for twenty minutes. The sheer variety of potions they had developed meant I had a long way to taking them apart.
Well not too long. Fortuna was always going to cut down the time I needed but I would still have to spend a couple weeks of pumping out potions to really screw them over.
Thankfully a lot of these potions could be coupled underneath similar umbrellas. For example, the potion that increased turnip growth and a potion that increased the yield of strawberries could be easily replaced with a potion that encouraged the general growth of plants.
Most potions were designed with specialization in mind. Potions were about creating a story to tell to Magic after all. The more personal and the more detailed a story was the better effect you would gain. There existed potions that did the general effect but they were sidelined for not being as effective as specilization.
I could probably spend decades of research creating the greatest general story that could accomplish what I want or I could cheat. Since I absolutely wanted to crush the Prince family I think you knew which one I picked.
I really needed to do something nice for Fortuna for being the best girl. The happy hum in my chest told me she appreciated the appreciation.
I was tempted to kill the smug prick who was my grandfather and drag the truth out of him but I really wanted to watch him slip in despair. All that pride over being better than half-breeds and lesser standing houses fading as a half-breed bastard he did not even want to see tore his House apart with sheer talent.
Then when his House was in near ruin I would drag that answer out of him before I took the life from his eyes. Or maybe I should put him in a state where he could not control his body and he had to live the rest of eternity trapped in his own body.
So many options but I suppose I should not plan out a painful existence for the guy until I got the full truth. I was just going to destroy his pride in himself for doing what he did to my mother. When I find out what his words really meant at the end I will probably have an idea what to do about him.
I should probably brainstorm with Ashley as well. I bet she would get a kick out of plotting vengeance over a family member. Most of her suggestions would probably revolve around stabbing and physical torture but at least she would have fun over it.
I contemplated assassinating the other members of the Prince Household but there were so very few of them in the first place. It was typically seen as not a good idea to have more than one child if you were a part of the pure-blood houses.
Having issues with succession is not a good theme for most houses. With each additional child, the trickly succession situation in noble houses became complicated. It was not like medieval Europe as most of our children lived well into adult hood so there was no need to overcompensate by pumping children out.
Wizards and Witches also lived for a very long time. Old age affected us but it was a god damn long time before the old died from well old age. So you would have one child inheriting everything the house could provide and the other living for centuries without a shot at seeing the same.
There were reasons for having more children. Let’s use the Weasley family as an example. They had so many children because the property and title of their name were not really worth anything. So instead they overcompensated with children to likely marry them off and expand the family influence.
That could be a horrible reading on a family that really cared for each other but I have seen Molly Prewet and she does not strike me as a girl who did not try her best to advance her station. Molly was kind of bound to Arthur through marriage so that was her best shot at going further.
Beyond trying to expand with marriage war tended to have people either making more children for fear of losing their one heir or celebrating after a war.
Honestly, war happened often in the magical world as people with far too much power got ideas in their heads. Power attracts followers and followers represent faction warfare.
War in the magical war was odd. On one hand, the culling of an already low population was not going to do us any favors. On the other hand, the older generation were the ones being culled for the most part. Sure, we still had some old fogeys holding on in the war but most of our old died in war.
Sometimes the older generation keeps things running in a certain way if only because they do not want to change. So getting new blood in those seats does good for our society.
It’s a difficult balance in the magical world as traditions and certain practices hold meaning and purpose in our world. So those old fogey had reasons for doing things as they were but sometimes even they did not understand why they did things.
I’m sure that notion infuriated the muggleborn trying to come into our society but our society was odd. We lived in a world where oral traditions and knowledge were passed from father to son for centuries. The schooling system was a relatively recent addition to our society as the founders made the school due to persecution from the church.
That persecution bothered the magicals as they saw magical blood spilled. So they created the school as a safe haven for every single magical in the world.
It was a noble goal and it honestly led to the advancement of magic by centuries as houses started to pool knowledge together. Sure the good stuff got held back but the mixing of what houses perceived as basic education made seeds that have bloomed into today.
These were the thoughts running in my head as I worked on my potions. God, Slughorn is going to have a field day as I let him present my findings so he can present them to the broader world.
He would really been in his element talking and forging connections as he introduces miracle after miracle from me.
Sure, I was going to be the one that made money off of those potions but Slughorn presenting them would give him influence. It would say to the world that Slughorn was a person who I trusted with very valuable secrets.
Since I have been making myself rather hard to find it would tell a story of a young genius who was fed up with society only relying on a single professor.
It was not the truth but it was going to be the story that Slughorn sold. If presenting and talking to these chumps was not so boring I would have done the deal myself instead. I just did not want to deal with the non-sense of polite conversation that goes no where. I was still going to garner a reputation as a young prodigy so I still had some influence.
I just did not have to use it.
Oh, I kind of forgot I fucked around with the Dark Lord. My name already held some weight….fuck it Slughorn still gets to present. I was not going to spend months talking about a potion designed to clean teeth.
