Tuck Woodstock
patreon
Zefyr Lisowski! A salmon/baseball update!
🕑 Added 2025-10-12 22:45:42 +0000 UTCHey friends,
Hope you’re all hanging in there. I am still thinking about Humpy.
What am I talking about? Thanks so much for asking! For two years, the Seattle Mariners (I know, I’m sorry) have been staging a “salmon run” at every home game, in which four salmon mascots compete in a between-innings footrace. One of the salmon has a septum ring and wears a flannel, and yet, that is not the one we are rooting for. We are always rooting for Humpy, the salmon who has never won a single race in his 164 career races.
On Friday night, the Mariners played a baseball game from 8pm-1:30am Eastern time. If they lost, they would be out of the playoffs. If they won, they would move on to the semifinals (ALCS), which has only happened 3 times because the Mariners are not a good team. But as the game went on, it seemed that they would never win; they would never lose; they would just play baseball forever, tied 2-2 against Detroit for all of eternity.
In the 15th(!) inning of Friday night’s baseball game, the Mariners staff decided to hold their second salmon run of the night, because why not? Everyone in the stands cheered and cheered for Humpy, even though Humpy had never won. And this time? Humpy won! And the fans lost their minds, and the Mariners players celebrated from the dugout, and then the Mariners players went out on the field and pretty much immediately won the game. And we must conclude that it was due to being inspired by Humpy!!!!!
Being alive is so amazing, because what do you mean I’ve been crying for three days about a fake fish winning a fake race!!!!!!!!!!! But look at Humpy twirl with excitement!!!!!!!!
Anyway, then I slept for three hours, and then I woke up incredibly early to play in a 14-hour softball tournament with a special all-trans softball team, and that was sooooooooo fun and good and nice even though it was wet and I was the worst player on the team and had never slept in my life! And now I am trying to write a newsletter but I’m so sleepy and my brain doesn’t work so I’m just talking about Humpy. (Someone please make fun minimalist fan art of Humpy, I’m begging you, or else I’ll do something really stupid like asking a tattoo guy to do it and we cannot let that happen.)
Anyway, I also make a podcast, and in this week, we spoke with Zefyr Lisowski, whose new book Uncanny Valley Girls came out this week!!! Topics include crazy4crazy relationships, grave robbers, werewolves, horror movies, swamp solidarity, Pisces poetics, living in a 21-person queer household, writing literal gender reveals, being incredibly conventionally beautiful :) :) :) :), incorporating race into your work in a Normal Way, and much much more! Stay all the way to the end to hear a clip of Zefyr’s concept album/musical about the Ring hehe.
I also attended Zefyr’s book launch on Wednesday, which iirc featured Harron Walker asking Zefyr to fuck-marry-kill a cis guy wolfman, trans guy wolfman, and misgendered trans woman wolfman? And I apologize for never asking a journalistic question as good as that one.
In Sex Change and the City news, I still have no idea where/when/how a NYC book event will happen, but the official launch party will likely be in Philly on Nov 5, so mark your calendars! You can also still preorder in the US or Canada, and can read an essay from the book via Hell World.
Okay, that’s it for now. No more links or stuff. Here’s your weekly Rhubarb, courtesy of my gay neighbor.
Ruby standing outside on a picnic table, as seen from a window above.And Puffin.
Okay here’s actually Puffin.
Puffin peeking out from a blanket that she has been wrapped in burrito-style.Xo,
Yr resident gender detective
Comments
Tuck
I'm SO happy to be able to spread the word about Humpy! sorry everyone else let you down lol
Susan G
I was recently in the US and started my trip there in my most beloeved Seattle and was introduced to the Mariners and tragically (given the most recent game results) became deeply invested in them winning even though I have never cared about baseball in my life but no one EVER told me about Humpy! All about the big dumper and of course Matilda, but not a single word about Humpy! Thank you for introducing me to Humpy as I am catching up on emails from when I was away, he brought me some joy in these dark times of being a Mariners fan for three weeks. The highs and the lows I experienced. And then there was Humpy!
Tuck
We can’t officially announce yet but if u check girldadpress.com you might be able to rsvp early 👀
Tuck
Did u mean to say excruciating :)
Jamie
that game was so fun!!!!
dr3w cL0v3r
launch party where in Philly ?!?!
