The Comfy Corner 🌻
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I’m starting to get a handle on what’s going on
🕑 Added 2024-05-25 00:06:25 +0000 UTCIt’s filming itself. I love it don’t get me wrong. I am just searching why I’ve been so down and out of it, and it comes down to the fact that, let’s be honest you guys saw this too, I was pressured to “react properly”.
If it wasn’t as big of emergy as he had, he would stop the video, yell at me and we’d start the video over. I didn’t realize that was still in the back of my mind, but it is. Big time.
I think that mixed with my depression and my addictions returning full swing, it’s so hard to film if I don’t feel “perfect”.
This realization does not make me want to stop though. It actually makes me want to film more, and just keep going. It will be hard. Things might go back to being slow and not videos everyday. I’m not sure yet. All I know is I wanna film, but my mental health is at an all time low.
To be honest, anime is the only thing keeping me level. I am filming the anime’s you see, as well as watching 4 on my own. My brain is hyperfixating really hard, and I don’t know how to get it to stop.
I’m trying to build healthy habits, I have been working out again, but the feelings won’t leave.
SO (TLDR) things might be a little slow, but videos will still come out. I’m going to give myself one more week IF I NEED IT of purely anime or old Kpop content. I will say I plan to watch some old kpop videos (live and/or mvs) so leave comments of some old Kpop you’d like to see to give me more ideas, im gonna show you guys some old SHINee.
Anyways, sorry for rambling. Just needed to get that out and let yall know what’s going on. ❤️🩹
Trauma and PTSD is a wild ride, but I’ll be okay 🌻
Love you guys 🖤
Comments
Blaire
Thank you ☺️ I’m trying to remind myself of that! I guess it’s just hard getting out of the old mindset that was essentially beat into me 😅 I appreciate you saying that, it definitely helps ❤️🩹
Julia
There’s no such thing as reacting properly, I rather have you be real throughout even if you don’t have any comments or big reaction, that’s totally fine for me. Everyone’s reactions are different and processing what you watched can take a moment honestly lol. You’re doing a great job B 💗
