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Selfportraits
🕑 Added 2024-11-16 01:04:11 +0000 UTCI never thought I would write this... but I gained weight and it worries me.
Even when I was little, the weight issue arose not with me, but with my relatives ... for all my grandparents, aunts and uncles, I was too thin, they rushed to feed me, make me eat more, and looked at my mom a little with condemnation, as if she feeds me badly and that's the only problem. I just listened then, but didn't react in any way, because I loved to eat, and I didn't mind at all that they poured me a second portion of puree with sausages 😆 ) Even the doctors told me that my problems with hormones and problems with my heart were due to insufficient weight ... But it was such a fashion for post-Soviet doctors to talk about weight) At school, among peers, everything was great. On the contrary, thinness was in fashion there) So I didn't listen to my relatives because I had a "more important audience" outside the home.
I began to shape up into a woman, the weight did not gain and did not worry me - I just had a constant desire in the background - to gain it a little. So that I feel like a woman and not a teenager. And this did not happen. I even went to the gym to gain at least muscle weight, but I lost 2 kg in a couple of months of training and it became critical for my women's health. I also practiced eating at McDonald's three times a day... Because there were rumors that Americans have obesity problems because of McDonald's...But it also didnt help/
But what am I leading to? First of all, it is that not only fat children suffer from bullying, thin ones are also bullied, maybe in a less cruel way at home. Over time, it simply remains in your subconscious ... And even if you are satisfied with how you look, how you feel in your body, somewhere inside sits the same "classmate", "grandmother", "aunt from the next door" who say you need to lose weight or gain weight...
And it sits in me. And finally, I miraculously gained weight. And if earlier I started shooting self-portraits to accept my thin body - bones, body hair, small breasts.... now I have to start again, but accept my tummy, folds, cellulite 😆 😢 .
And in fact, I can't say that I have changed much, and everything is so bad. Perhaps these are just numbers ... from 47 kg to 51 kg. Only 4 kg, but how did it affect my sense of self (
I know that the majority of my readers here are male. But I'm wondering if you've faced aggressive or gentle bullying because of thinness?
Comments
Ru-Ru
Julia - As someone who majored in Slavic studies and has traveled to the region a number of times, it's remarkable how difficult it is for men and women eating an East European diet to maintain a reasonably healthy body weight. But then again, all of us struggle with food and weight, regardless of the cuisine or the region of the world we're from. I was always thin as a kid and never worried about gaining weight, but surrounded by Italian American aunties and cousins who loved to eat it was inevitable that I would indeed gain weight. So while I never faced ostracism from family for being thin as a kid/youth/young man, I now face disapproval from numerous friends for the weigh that I typically gain every winter. It's amazing that they will remark on it, so that even now as a mature man, watching and worrying over my weight consumes me daily. I love to eat, but I also love to dance, swim and play tennis, but the older I get, the less my metabolism burns off the food I eat. And I definitely don't like how I look with the added weight during the winter. It takes months of concerted effort in the Spring and Summer to shed the excess weight, so now I'm trying to work out every day, do something to keep the body limber and watch what I eat.
Chak
Thanks for sharing this story
Mark Anthony
Yes, I hear you Julia. 🫂 For me, too skinny as a kid, now some thickness as an adult. Even as a male, at any age, there’s criticism either way by family, so called friends, and insensitive peers. Then perhaps you get fit, there’s some other attention or fuss. At this point, I feel healthy, my doctor has little concerns, my wife is satisfied, so I care little for others thoughts. That all said, I’m not doing what you do, so I’m sure there are other mitigating factors. Nevertheless, I appreciate your open heart and thoughtfulness. Take care, you’re marvelous.
