nudity.slip
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🕑 Added 2024-09-01 09:04:23 +0000 UTCLolita and Kodak Gold 200
There is a prejudice that relationships are about two halves, about some kind of dependence (at least minimal), about injuries, about emotional maintenance, about working on interaction... And people often go into relationships to cover some of their needs that they cannot cover on their own . And this is actually normal, although rather common. "Halfs" go into a relationship to feel whole with the help of another person. (and it happens unconsciously)
And what is it like when two "whole" people come together? How is it when no one replaces each other? When you don't have to adjust your lifestyle, your preferences, when you don't have to choose the words in a conversation... How is it when you just have an adult person in your life who is just like you, who enjoys life, who has his own desires, his own goals, his own character and you have feelings for each other? Of course, Ithey are not as bright and not as powerful as they usually are in the same dependent relationships of "halves"... but these feelings are there and they do not blind you just because "whole" people first of all choose and love themselves, and then each other). And this has absolutely nothing to do with selfishness or narcissism.
And the most terrible thing in this situation is that, compared to "half" relationships, it seems that "whole" relationships do not feel like such great love on phisical way. There are no swings, there are no addictions, there is nothing that constantly tickles your nerve cells and keeps you in tension - there is simply peace and a pleasant feeling of warmth and love that spreads in you next to this person, and maybe even when he or she is not around)
This is just my theory) but what about in practice? Does that happen at all?
I was never looking for a relationship. For me it was always good to be alone, I flew, fluttered, blossomed, and as soon as I entered a relationship, I gradually began to close down. Already, even my friends laughed when they saw me happy and joyful, they said "what, you finally broke up again?". And until it became a meme, I didn't really analyze my communication with men. And now the universe seems to show me all this on the example of my feamle friends - friends who complain about their husbands, their relationships and the life they have become in these relationships. They became unhappy (I always saw them as ambitious, beautiful, intelligent, sincere, incredibly open, and now it's all still there, but it's covered with a huge layer of self-doubt due to a man who is not ready to let them show themselves, who drives them into the framework of his ideas , who tries to make them be someone else.
Men, don't think that I am insulting the male part of humanity here. Women are also abusers and often more so than men) Here I just wanted to share my thoughts about "half" and "whole" people and the relationship between them.
Comments
Roam
I have my philosophy on this matter. I noticed that there basically are three kinds of people: Suns, Moons and Black Holes. Suns have their own immanent light that they shine on those around them - they are The Givers. (Note: every Sun can be eclipsed for some time). Moons don’t have their own light, but they reflect it when they’re lit by a Sun - they are The Takers. Black Holes don’t have their light, and don’t reflect it, instead they swallow all the light that is lit around them until the Sun is almost dried out of it - they are The Destroyers. I came to this conclusion when I was in my 40’s. It made me change my life - I divorced, closed my firm, changed the branch, opened a different firm and started to live consciously. No Moons and no Black Holes anymore. Not in friendships nor in relationships. I also underwent a successful autotherapy - asked myself the right questions, gave the right answers and made the right decisions. And only then, for the first time in my life, I met the love of my life. My favorite whole, my better half. Another Sun. My kind of a woman. My true tribe. She had a similar story to mine, made the same mistakes, lit almost as many Moons and Black Holes as I did, and underwent a successful therapy with the same effect to mine: we both left our pasts behind and made serious decisions about our future: no more Moons and Black Holes. No more being an endless Giver to an endless Taker. But no dearest Julia, we don’t miss the “thrills, swings and addictions”. We love that nothing ever tickles our nerve cells and keeps us in tension. Yes, there surely is simply peace and a great feeling of warmth, love and belonging. We have a face we can call Home. “Thrills and swings” actually mostly are just a way to cover the uncertainty and lack of true unity in love and a mutual joy of togetherness. The best thrills come from tenderness, trust and a deep ability to love. I hope you all witnessed it or you’re about to, soon❤️
Thomas Martin
You are definitely spot on no offense taken to the male population here. The most healthy relationships are when you have two people come in as two whole individuals. Thank you so much for your insight and perspective.
