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Severing Time: Chapter 23

🕑 Added 2022-02-17 16:11:08 +0000 UTC

Comments

I might change it if it doesn't work. This is just the unedited story, so it's subject to change. And thank you! I love My Dress Up Darling, so being compared to that is the highest compliment anyone can pay me! I saw episode 6 and the dub for episode 5 the other day. So freaking good. I need more.

Benjamin Collins

Aw ic, I'll just prepare myself for more awkward speech then. These chapters are like watching dressup darling, they feel incredibly short and after it's done I'm like, " why must I wait, I need more now!"

This is a phrase I've heard periodically spoken in the countryside. Since the Wu Clan lives in the boondocks, I thought having Wu Jian's mom speak with a slight countryside dialect fit the narrative.

Benjamin Collins

The only thing that's awkward to read is when jiuns mom says she's all done to the princess, the way she says it made me reread that one sentence 2 or 3 times before I just left it, idk if it's wrong or not but if you change the "you" to "it or just remove you" probably wouldn't have gotten caught up there. Maybe add a comma? Idk, the you is what makes that line weird to me

Tim Nielsen

Aaaaaah, they grow up so fast our little princess. 😋😎


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