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WIEDERGEBURT Act VI: Chapter 13

🕑 Added 2021-03-01 15:42:04 +0000 UTC

Comments

Ashly E Wood

So many regions and deities! I love it.

Good catch. There's still more about Eryk that I haven't revealed yet. :3

rykott

That last paragraph hints that Eryk might be special even amongst his own people.

Arigatougozaimasu.

Thanks. I think I was half asleep while writing this chapter, so it's more of a mess than my normal messes. I'll be going back to fix all these errors.

I didn't even see that! That is pretty funny. XD

I love how there is a link to the Tissue Machine, Paper & Board website in the second paragraph...

Tanner Lovelace

I realize, of course, that this is a rough draft, but figured you might want to fix those issues. Otherwise, this a great chapter!

Tanner Lovelace

"“Your Lady Fray!” she shouted in a voice so loud that all the people around us stopped walking and turned to stare." Should be "you're".

Tanner Lovelace

"The wide street was filled with people and carriage that moved without having to be pulled by a Demon Beast." Carriages should be plural, no?

Tanner Lovelace

"It flowed like a river, but it was utterly massive. Maybe it was a mote?" Shouldn't that be "moat" like the water that surrounds a castle. As you've written it, it would be a "tiny piece of dust".

Tim Nielsen

Interesting chapter. 🤓

Thanks for catching that.

Daniel Glasson

You switched Baldr and Freyr's names at the end


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