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WIEDERGEBURT Act IV: Chapter 16

🕑 Added 2020-07-09 17:00:58 +0000 UTC

Comments

Daniel

Yes

So make it more obvious that he is using a trap door?

Max Pellant

"You dun f***ed up Moo-Ha-Mad"

Daniel

Brandon, I had to re-read the first paragraph, as in my mind, during the first pass, I couldn't understand why a door would slam on to the ground. (doors ALWAYS open outwords: 99.999% of the time) It caused a "hic-up" in my reading, you may want to re-word that... Perhaps saying that he pushed up on the door above his head...

I feel this is one of the more classix wuxia tropes at play.

rykott

No one ever expects Eryk and his ladies to roflstomp the enemies ;D

The price of being a Lamia's husband? XD

Tim Nielsen

Luuuuucy you have some explaining to dooooo..... =_)

Devin

So check this out! Your significant other brings you home to meet her parents, and so a dinner is to be held, but YOU the guest have to not only cook the food, but serve it too! Lol

Patrick Burns-popieniuck

Man loved it , some ones in trouble Muhammad

You dun messed up A-A-Ron (aka Muhammad)


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