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WIEDERGEBBURT Act II Chapter 26

🕑 Added 2019-06-24 13:27:33 +0000 UTC

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You've given me a lot to think about, and I may make some changes based on your thoughts. One thing I will say is that Eryk didn't freeze because "creepy eyes." I tried to be subtle about this hint, but there are only one group of sentient people with crimson eyes in this series. You've met them in the past timeline a lot. Eryk froze because he was so shocked at seeing eyes that were so familiar to his enemies from the past timeline. He did not expect to see them in Nevaria.

Hey Brandon, really enjoying this series. The story is very engaging and I appreciate your writing style. I did want to point out one thing that I found a bit irksome about this chapter, and hopefully you take it as some semi decent constructive criticism. I found myself really frustrated by the fight that Erik had with the bad guys. Here we have an ultra powerful protagonist with an ace in the hole ability that lets him go faster than the speed of light for a minute, as well as a damsel in distress in an unknown ritual and a bad guy clearly feeding the ritual power. So rather than zip over in an instant and lop his head off, or his hands, or do anything to stop the ritual, he fights the goons and then the henchman for minutes of time. And then this ultra hardened warrior is stopped in his tracks from performing a move as easy as breathing by a pair of creepy eyes? I'm sorry, it that whole scenario DEEPLY lost me. Erik acts so out of character both power and mentality wise that I lost my suspension of disbelief completely. This could have been avoided by a different execution of these ideas, like Skkgye(SP?) Not being visible, or being protected by a big forcefield, or something. Anything. As is the only thing I can think is that Erik is a thundering dumbass in this chapter. I hope this isn't a habit, because he's been an intelligent protagonist up till this point. Between this and the Svart fight though, he's making a lot of really dumb decisions out of no where.

Yes. That is it exactly. Lol. Thanks for spotting this. I'll fix it up in my manuscript.

'She didn’t stay for long, as the Felinoid released a dying breath, she removed his weapon and leapt off.' Kari having a gender bender moment too?

You are correct. It looks like I accidentally swapped genders. Thank you for catching that mistake.

Dennis Palsson

My next foe was smart enough to realize his armor meant nothing. She activated her Spiritual Aura, but I just pumped even more Spiritual Power into my ruler, until the blade segments were glowing so brightly it was impossible to look at them directly. --- did the foe's gender swap or am I misreading it?

Thank you! I tried really hard to make this super intense and grim.

WoW!!!! Loving the intensity!! Whatever is going on with Skygge and Dyr..... Totally Grrr :/


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