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WIEDERGEBURT Act II: Chapter 21

🕑 Added 2019-06-06 14:35:53 +0000 UTC

Comments

Illiterate Scholar

Ahh, ok. Well, I was just commenting that this particular chapter had a few more errors than you usually have, not criticizing your efforts or the quality of the work. After seeing some of the comments on future chapters, I've come to understand that this isn't edited content and have just been pointing out any copy errors I've seen. I know I'm a year behind and I'm not sure how much of this has been passed along to be published, yet, but I figured I'd point out stuff where I saw it and could still handle reading while on my phone. :)

Thank you for pointing this out. Lin only refers to herself in third person, so the comment is actually correct. However, the other part is definitely an error that I'll correct. Saying that, I should mention that you are reading this series raw. All the chapters on Patreon are unedited. That's why they have so many mistakes. Think of the Patreon version as a web novel and the published version as a light novel that has been copy edited and proofread to improve grammar and readability.

Illiterate Scholar

There were an awful lot of grammar issues in this chapter, but this section stood out: “We’re having girl talk,” Lin added from over Kari’s shoulder. Fay, who I couldn’t see, spoke from somewhere inside. “Boys aren’t allowed.” “There you have,” Kari agreed. "We" is first person, so Lin shouldn't be using it. She should have said "These sisters" or "These women." I believe Kari's final sentence should have been "There you have it." Since I am reading on my phone, it isn't possible to copy and paste multiple errors back and forth to the comment section while reading and also keeping track of where my place is, so I couldn't point all of them out. You usually only have one or two issues, so you might want to have another read over this chapter, or get your copy editor to go over it again.

Good catch. You are correct.

Fay mumbled as I kissed her ear, then her cheek. Reaching out with a hand, I turned her head until she was facing me. I stared into her dark brown eyes, half-narrowed with a seductive quality that drew me in. Fay's eyes are green, not brown

Dennis Palsson

There you have,” Kari agreed. -“ there you have it” is what i think was supposed to be there.

NPGlitch

I automatically read it as “awful lot like” so I had to go back but yes you are correct

"That sounds an awful like like bragging,” I said." I think there is some thing wrong with this sentence?

rykott

As sad as it is a lot of stuff I read doesn't get a lot of that, so it's nice to get it here.

Thank you. I thought it would be nice to show the character dynamics at play.

rykott

Nice chapter. It's nice to see some of the relationships slowly moving along and making progress.


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