Brandon Varnell
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WIEDERGEBURT Act II: Chapter 1
🕑 Added 2019-03-28 15:48:35 +0000 UTC
All members of the Explorers Guild not only had their own bedroom, but they also had their own private bathing room.
Bathing rooms in the Northern Plain were different from those in Nevaria. While they still had a bath, of course, a lot of bathing rooms also had this thing called a shower. It was a place in which a person bathed under a spray of typically warm or hot water. The water came out of this object called a showerhead, which was just a metal nozzle jutting from the wall. Several Runes had also been used in its creation: Laguz to create water, Sowilo to heat the water, and Uruz to shoot the water out of the nozzle.
It had been about a year since Kari and I became members of the Explorers Guild, and we had finally gotten used to using a shower to clean off.
Of course, we had found another use for showers as well.
“Ah! Ahn! Ha… Harder!”
Kari stood before me with her legs spread, her hands pressed flat against the shower wall. Water sprayed from the nozzle overhead. It soaked her hair, which shifted over her shoulders and down her front, meaning I had the pleasure of watching the thousands of droplets run down her back. More than the view of water blazing adventurous trails across her skin, the way her ass jiggled as I thrust my dick into her pussy from behind was even more eye-catching.
The loud slapping sound of my flesh meeting hers echoed around the bathing room. It mixed with her moans and the sounds of water spraying from the nozzle.
“Hah…. hyk! Ahn!”
I grunted as I pulled my dick out of her, but I didn’t pull out all the way before I shoved it back inside. Just as she asked, I increased the pace of my thrusts, enjoying the sensation of her pussy milking my cock. Her tight insides were warm, wet, and slightly sticky, which made for an altogether enjoyable sensation. My own grunting created a staccato symphony that ran counter to her lyrical moans.
The tiles beneath us were a little slippery, so I had to be careful, but I leaned forward as I continued to thrust my hips, reaching over and placing my hands against hers as I leaned down and began placing kisses on her neck. Kari released several loud, beautiful moans as she tilted her head to grant me more access to her skin. I traveled up her neck, along her jaw, and then took her ear in my mouth.
“OOOH!!”
From this position, I could see the way her breasts were bouncing. They were incredibly large. By that, I mean they were massive. Each time I thrust into her, Kari would arc her back ever so slightly, which made her tits bounce up and then down. I felt an intense urge to play with them.
Keeping one hand over Kari’s, I retracted my other hand and grabbed her tit. Her nipple was already stiff. I pinched it between my thumb and forefinger, which caused Kari to clench her teeth as her legs trembled. The vaginal walls keeping my cock inside of her tightened soon after. That made it harder to thrust into her, but it also increased the electric thrill racing along my shaft. Warm, wet, and tight. That was Kari’s pussy in a nutshell.
“Ha… ha… Eryk…”
Kari’s breathing was completely ragged by this point. Not that I was much better. Shower sex was harder than it looked. The floor was slippery, it took more effort to have sex standing up, and it was hard to maintain traction. That said, I did enjoy this position. I felt like I was reaching new areas inside of Kari when we were connected like this.
I noticed Kari looking at me as I pawed at her large, heavy breasts. The weight of her tits always impressed me. They must have been a few kilos at least. Better than that, however, was the way my fingers sank into them. Nothing on this continent was softer than Kari’s boobs.
Removing my hand from her chest, I placed it on her cheek and turned her head my way, while also leaning in, and kissed her. Kari’s response was enthusiastic. Her tongue was out before I even had a chance to probe her mouth. It pushed against mine, getting tangled together as our saliva mixed. We must have been getting more into it than I thought because some of our saliva dripped down her chin and splashed against her chest, but neither of us cared enough to stop.
Truth be told, I wasn’t sure how long we had been going at it. I felt my end coming when my balls grew tight. Knowing that I’d probably cum first if this kept up, I slid my hand down her throat, trailed it across her collar bone, her breasts, and her stomach. I moved my hand down further until I was just above her honeypot.
I could feel my cock churning her insides as I kept my thrusts fast and powerful. Of course, my goal wasn’t to feel out my cock as I pounded Kari from behind, but to rub her clit. It was already engorged from our activities. As I placed my fingers against it, I felt the small nub twitch erratically as though it was having muscle spasms. I quickly took her clit between my fingers and lightly pinched it.
“!!!!”
Kari screamed into my mouth as her vagina closed on me, clamping down on my cock and making it so I couldn’t move. At the same time, a bright flash appeared from her chest, and I could just make out the strange symbols of a language I didn’t know but that felt familiar appeared. I couldn’t focus on that, however, as the feeling of her walls milking me was enough to tip me over the edge. With what strength remained in my body, I shoved myself into Kari as deeply as my dick could go, unleashing several spurts of cum. Perhaps because of how deep I’d thrust into her, none of it leaked out when I removed my now flacid dick.
The two of us released several ragged breaths as we stood there underneath the showerhead. I placed my hands against hers again and rested my head on her shoulder. Kari tilted her head, perhaps to lean it against mine.
“That was nice…” she murmured.
“Yeah…” I said.
“But now we’re dirty again.”
I smiled and kissed her shoulder. “We just need to wash up more.”
Now that we had finished having passionate shower sex, the two of us were much quicker to wash up. It didn’t even take five minutes. I’m pretty sure that meant we spent about 30 minutes having sex and only five actually getting clean. After cleaning off, the two of us turned off the shower, stepped out, and used a towel to get dry.
We were just about to make for the door to our room—when a knock echoed inside of the bathing room.
“Eryk. Kari. You two done fucking yet?” someone asked from the other side.
“Axel,” I groaned as I recognized the voice. “I thought I told you not to enter our room without permission.”
“Hey, I’m the leader of the Explorers Guild,” Axel said. “I can do whatever I want.”
While I clicked my tongue, Kari responded to the man in a far calmer voice than me. “I hope the reason you barged into our room and eavesdropped on us is a good one. If it’s not, I may be forced to take extreme actions and teach you a lesson about respecting the privacy of your sect mates.”
“That sounds like it might actually be fun, but I’ll have to pass.” Axel laughed, but then his voice suddenly became serious. “Actually, it is a pretty serious reason. Erica of the Battling Valkyries is here and asking for your presence. She is requesting that the two of you come with her back to Midgard.”
Kari and I shared a look as Axel hit us with this news. We hadn’t seen Erica since that incident at those ruins on the peninsula, where our group had barely managed to escape with our lives. I heard a rumor that the Cult of the Great Overlord was keeping her busy. We’d occasionally get reports here and there, and Kari and I had even worked with some of her colleagues, who had been kind enough to inform us that the situation with the cult was worsening. If Erica was here, then…
“Give us just a minute to get dressed,” I said.
“Will do,” Axel replied. “While you two get dressed, I will entertain our guest.”
The sound of Axel’s footsteps grew softer as he walked away from the door, but that didn’t mean I was going to open it yet. I waited a few seconds before opening the door. Then I checked inside of our bedroom to make sure he really had left.
“Looks like he’s gone.” I turned back to Kari. “Let’s get dressed.”
Kari nodded at me as we entered our bedroom.
Our bedroom at the Explorers Guild was fairly large, but there was also a lot of stuff filling it, which caused it to feel smaller than it actually was. A large desk sat near a glass window. Several bookshelves filled with tomes sat against the wall beside the desk. We also had a dresser and an elegant armoire crafted from walnut. Our bed was located on the wall opposite the door to the bathing room. Hanging along a wall were several maps detailing the numerous areas of this continent that had already been explored.
We made our way to the dresser. I opened it and pulled out our underwear. After handing off Kari’s undergarments, I put my own on, and then began pulling out the rest of our clothes: pants, shirts, socks, and so on. I was soon slipping on my own clothes, pulling up my brown pants, sliding on my long-sleeved white shirt. Chainmail went over my shirt, followed by a brown vest. Leather vambraces, socks, a belt, and brown boots finished my ensemble.
Once I was sure my outfit was on properly, I glanced over at Kari, who wore a somewhat similar outfit. Her collared shirt had a large gap in the center of her chest. She had donned a bodice instead of a vest. She wore no pants, but she did have a brown skirt covering her legs to about the middle of her thigh. Brown boots were held together by three belt buckles, metal gauntlets covered her hands and forearm, and her ranseur was strapped diagonally across her back. Her hair was down and still damp.
“You ready?” I asked.
“I am,” Kari answered. “Let’s see what Erica wants.”
Our room was located on the second floor. The Explorers Guild’s base of operations was a three-story building. While the first floor was dedicated to receiving guests, Axel’s office, the library, and a training ground, the second was where all of the members slept. The third floor was where the Warp Gate was located. Given that Erica did not live anywhere near Vesparia, the city our sect was stationed in, we headed to the third floor instead of the first.
The third floor was really just a large hall, an open space made of black and white marble tiles. A glance up would have revealed the vaulted ceiling. Being a large, open space with almost nothing in it, the only item present worth looking at was the Warp Gate—a massive gate similar to the ones found within the ruins. It looked like an arched gateway. Several glowing Runes were etched onto its surface, and those Runes were glowing with power. In the center of this gate, rather than a door, there was a swirling nebula.
Erica was there, as we suspected. Axel was with her. He was trying to talk to the gorgeous woman, but she didn’t seem all that interested in listening to him.
Axel wasn’t an unattractive man. Just a little shorter than I was, he had broad shoulders and strong arms, but they weren’t the kind of bulging muscles expected on barbarian warriors like the Barbatos Sect. His fair skin gave him a healthy complexion that went well with his light blond-brown beard. He had green eyes, masculine features, and wore refined clothes made of silk whenever he wasn’t out on a mission.
He was also a member of the Catfolk—a humanoid species with feline traits. He had cat-like ears, a tail, and fur around his wrists and knees.
Despite his seemingly attractive appearance, the woman appeared completely uninterested in him. In fact, from her slightly red ears and the vein pulsating on her forehead, I would have said she was at her wits end.
That expression disappeared when she saw us.
“Eryk! Kari!” She swept past the dumb-founded Axel and walked toward us at a quick trot. “I’m really glad to see you two!”
“We’re sorry to keep you waiting,” I said as Erica pulled Kari into a quick hug.
“It’s no trouble at all.” Erica smiled as she gave me the same treatment as Kari. I ignored the glare my sect leader sent me as I hugged the woman back before separating.
Erica was an enchanting woman with hair like raven’s feathers and purple eyes. Her pale skin, small nose, and full lips often earned her the adoration of many men. She often caused heads to turn whenever she was around.
Like always, she dressed in a battle gown. Blue shoulder pauldrons with gold outlining them shifted when she moved them. A corset made of blue steel wrapped around her torso. However, her breasts were clad in only a white top with frills that traveled around her body. The top also didn’t cover much, meaning a good portion of her cleavage and back were exposed. Aside from the armored corset and pauldrons, she also wore gauntlets and greaves that went up to her knees.
“I see I’m not wanted here,” Axel said to us. “I’ll be heading back to my office now. See you two whenever I see you next.”
“Yeah. See you,” Kari and I said as the man walked out the door and slammed it shut. I had the feeling he was irritated with us, or maybe he was just upset with me. I shook that thought off before turning to Erica again.
“What did you need to see us for?” asked Kari. “I hear you’ve been pretty busy lately. Whatever reason you’ve come here must be important.”
Erica’s expression shifted into something that was like a frown combined with a grimace. I could tell that what she planned on talking about was probably not going to be pleasant.
“The situation with the Cult of the Great Overlord has changed,” she said. “News hasn’t reached this far out yet, but the cult managed to open a portal in the temple ruins located in Vahn. We’re not sure how they managed to pull that off. However, the city has fallen.”
Kari and I sucked in a breath as this news hit us. Vahn was one of the larger cities in the Northern Plain. It had a population of about 5 or 6 million. The idea of it falling was ludicrous.
“Were there any survivors?” asked Kari.
“Some people managed to escape,” Erica admitted, though she didn’t sound happy. “That’s how we learned about what happened. We’re planning to retake the city. However, just retaking the city won’t be enough. According to a report from our scouts, the enemy is continuing to increase in numbers.”
“Meaning the portal is still open,” I said.
“Right.” Erica nodded. “We are planning a joint operation with the Paladin Sect. However, no one in our sects knows how to close a portal after it’s been created. Kari, you managed to close the portal last time, which is how we survived. We would like you to do that again.”
“So you came here to hire us to go into the ruins and close the portal, while the Battling Valkyries and the Paladin Sect retake the city?” I asked.
“More or less,” Erica admitted with a gallic shrug. “There is more to this plan than just that, but you’ve got the gist of it. Can you two come with me?”
I looked over at Kari, who glanced back at me for a moment before looking back at Erica. She nodded.
“Lead on,” Kari said.
With a relieved smile, Erica led us over to the Warp Gate, which we all stepped through one after the other.
***
I stared at the vaguely familiar coffered ceiling above my head. They were square panels that looked like they’d been created separately instead of carved from the same stone. It was very decorative. There were tiny Rune motifs carved into each panel. Truly, it was an intricate ceiling, but I couldn’t help but wonder why anyone would spend so much time and effort to create a ceiling like this for an unused guestroom.
Of course, while I was staring at the ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing in the world, I was only doing that as a means of distracting myself.
“Mmm… Darling… zzz…”
Withholding the sigh that wanted to escape my mouth, I glanced down at the curtain of silky black hair. Then I looked further down at the 6 meter long tail that was wrapped around my entire body. My arms were pinned to my sides and my legs were completely ensnared. What’s more, Lin’s soft body was pressing against me. Her smallish breasts pushed into my arm. Her nipples were rubbing into my skin, sending electric jolts through my body.
How did she get in here? Well, obviously she used the door. I guess my question should have been: what was she doing here? The last time I had seen Lin, she was dozing off on Kari’s bed. I had been told not to worry about her by Kari, who said she’d let Lin sleep with her that night, but now she was in my bed. When did this happen? Why was I even surprised?
There was a window on my far left, wide enough that I had a great view of the rising sun as it painted the sky with color. It was morning.
“Lin,” I said. “Lin, wake up.”
“Just five more degrees, Darling,” Lin mumbled.
I twitched at her typical response. “No five degrees. Get up now.”
“Darling?” Lin lifted her torso and head just a bit to gaze at me. Her sleepy, half-lidded golden eyes contained a seductiveness to them that I found difficult to resist. However, resist I did, turning my head as she gave me a small smile. “Good morning, Darling.”
“What are you doing in my bed?” I asked as she leaned back down and laid her head on my chest. “Don’t go back to sleep!”
“You’re so cruel.” With a sigh, Lin got back up. “When this princess woke up, she was in a bed with Kari. You weren’t there, so she used the Ring of Marji to find you.”
“The Ring of Marji… right. I forgot that had the ability to let us know the other’s location.”
Thinking back on it, I could have used that power to find Lin when she had been in danger. That it didn’t occur to me back then was a great failing on my part.
“Right. So this princess followed your trail to here. She wanted to wake you up, but you looked so peaceful while you were sleeping that she decided to just get in bed with you.”
“That so? Somehow, I am not surprised.”
“Anyway, Darling,” Lin continued, either ignorant of or just ignoring my sarcasm. “This princess likes that Kari girl. She can see why you are enamored with her. That is why she will allow you to make that girl your concubine.”
“My concubine, huh?” I muttered, thinking. Speaking of concubines, I remembered Kari talking to me about courting both Fay and Lin alongside her. That made me wonder if maybe I should treat Lin more like a lover now. Would that be appropriate?
Before I could figure out what was and wasn’t appropriate, someone knocked on the bedroom door.
“Eryk?” Kari’s voice came from the other side. “Eryk? Are you awake?”
“I’m awake,” I called back. “Is something wrong, Kari?”
“I wanted to talk to you. It seems Lin is missing. She wasn’t in my bed when I woke up this morning, so I was wondering if you might know where she was?”
A strange jolt traveled down my spine as I glanced at Lin, my danger senses going off. I already had experience with this scenario. I knew what would happen if I let this girl speak first, but sadly, just because I knew what would happen, that didn’t mean I was fast enough to stop it.
“This princess is not missing,” Lin said before I could open my mouth. “She merely wanted to sleep with Darling last night.”
No noise came from the other side of the door for the longest time. A cold sweat broke out on my skin. The seconds ticked by, then a soft click echoed around the room as the door handle was turned. Soft creaking followed as someone pushed open the door. What was revealed on the other side was Kari, dressed in a light blue nightgown, her golden hair haloing her body. Because her chest was so large, the nightgown looked a bit stretched across her bust, but the rest of it was loose and flowing.
Kari took one look at me, wrapped up in Lin’s tail, and then glanced at the Lamia girl.
“What is going on here?” she asked in a soft voice. I felt a chill run down my spine for reasons I couldn’t understand.
Lin tilted her head. “What do you mean? This princess woke up to find that Darling wasn’t with her, so she decided to find him. He was asleep when she arrived, so she just slipped into bed like she always does.”
“Like you always do?” Kari raised an eyebrow at me.
“It’s been like this ever since she regained her true appearance,” I admitted with a sigh. Then I added, “No matter how many times I tell her not to.”
“Your body heat is better than any quilt,” Lin said with a shameless shrug.
“I think I understand what is going on here,” Kari said at last.
“You do?” I asked.
“Yes.” Walking into the room, Kari stopped by the bed and placed a hand on Lin’s shoulder. She was smiling, but something seemed off about it, wrong in a way that I couldn’t describe. “Lin, I believe you and I should give Eryk some privacy right now. He needs to freshen up, and I have some things I would like to talk to you about in private.”
Lin seemed oblivious to the strange aura surrounding Kari, which was something other than a Spiritual Aura. I couldn’t think of anything to describe it as except maybe… demonic. Yes. At that moment, Kari looked kind of like a Demon Beast in human clothing.
“Very well,” she said in an imperius voice. “This princess shall go with you while Darling freshens up.”
Lin uncoiled her tail from around me, causing me to involuntarily sigh in relief. For as oddly comfortable as being wrapped in her tails was, it always felt better when she freed me from her grip, though I couldn’t figure out why.
“Eryk,” Kari called out to me, “Why don’t you wash your face and get changed? Afterward, please meet us in the dining hall.”
“Okay.” I had no idea what was going on, so all I could do was agree.
Kari and Lin left my room, closing the door behind them. I remained on my bed for a few moments before swinging my legs over the edge. My feet touched soft carpet, which must have been even higher quality than what was inside of my house. It was so soft. After taking a moment to stretch out, I wandered over to a table situated in a corner of the room, where my clothes from the tournament were neatly folded. Someone must have cleaned and delivered them here last night.
I slipped my clothes on, though I left my boots off, and wandered out of the room. There was a butler waiting for me.
“Good evening, young master.” He bowed low. “Shall I escort you to the dining hall now?”
“Um, good morning,” I mumbled. I’d never had a butler before, so I wasn’t used to them. “And, uh, yes please. Thank you.”
“Of course. Right this way.”
The butler stood up and led me down the hall, took a turn, and led me down another hall. I didn’t bother trying to memorize my way right now. Since I didn’t think I was going to be spending the night again, at least not right now, there was no point in trying to figure out where everything was.
I was eventually led to the door I remembered from yesterday. The butler opened it and let me proceed him into the dining hall. It was currently empty, so I merely chose a random seat on the middle left side of the table and waited.
Left to my own thoughts, I wondered what I should do now, but I couldn’t think of anything. No, that wasn’t quite true. There was a lot that I needed to do, a lot that I wanted to do. The problem was I had so much on my plate that I couldn’t figure out what I should do first.
I had just won the Spiritualist Grand Tournament. Kari would now be able to travel outside of Nevaria with me. However, there were still a lot of issues that I needed to deal with: getting stronger, strengthening Nevaria, and preparing for the Demon Beast Invasion. That wasn’t even getting into Fay, who was another problem entirely.
“Fay…”
What was I going to do about her? Kari suggested courting Fay alongside her, and I was willing to give that a try, but would she be okay with that? Fay was a strong-willed woman. What if, after coming to her and suggesting we enter a polyamorous relationship, she just slammed the door in my face? Well, I suppose if that was her choice, I could only accept it, but then where would that leave us?
The door opened just then and Kari walked in with a shivering Lin. I glanced at the smiling blond beauty, and then shifted my gaze to Lin, who seemed oddly pale for someone with such dark skin. Not only was she shaking, but she kept tossing glances at Kari like the girl was going to bite her head off. I also noticed that she was actually wearing clothes. It was a simple blue dress, but it did an adequate job of covering all her naughty bits.
The moment she saw me, Lin slithered over to me in a panicked rush.
“D-Darling!”
Lin was barely a second from pouncing on me when Kari coughed into her hand, causing the Lamia to stop. Her body shivered again. Then, to my surprise, she slowly wandered to the seat on my left and sat down. A still smiling Kari sat down on my right.
“Um, did you two have a good talk?” I asked, for lack of anything better to say.
“I believe we did,” Kari said as Lin shuddered.
“Do you mind if I ask what you talked about?” Something strange was going on. Lin looked like she’d seen death incarnate. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of conversation they’d had.
“You may ask, but I sadly will not be able to tell you.” Kari sent me a tender, gentle smile. “It is a conversation between us girls.”
“I… see…”
I didn’t see at all. I was just saying that.
“Do not worry,” Kari said in response to my words. “All you need to know is that she and I had a conversation regarding propriety.”
“Ah.”
I could only assume that Kari had spoken to Lin about her habit of sneaking into my bed, and the conversation, or maybe Kari herself, had been frightening enough to scare the Lamia girl into submission. Part of me still wanted to know more. However, so long as Lin stopped sneaking into my bed, I felt like I had nothing to complain about.
A maid came out of a doorway on the other side of the room. She was pushing a cart with food on it. As she came closer, I saw that two of the dishes contained bowls of porridge with dried fruit mixed in. The third meal was a large plate of smoked ham, which I assumed was for Lin. I was impressed. The chef had remembered that Lamia were meat eaters after only being told once.
The maid stopped next to us and set the bowls in front of Kari and I and the plate in front of Lin, who was already drooling as she stared at her food.
“Let’s not stand on ceremony and eat,” Kari said as she smiled at us.
While Lin had no trouble digging in, I couldn’t help but glance at her. “Are we not going to wait for your other family members to arrive?”
Kari shook her head as she grabbed a spoon. “My mother has likely already eaten, and I’m sure my fathers except for Dante have done the same. All of them have duties to attend to early in the morning. What’s more, considering what happened to Lin last night, I have no doubt that my parents are spreading the word not to sound the Demon Beast Alarm if they see a girl with the lower body of a snake wandering the streets.”
“That makes sense.” Seeing how Kari was beginning to eat, I also grabbed my spoon and scooped up a mouthful of porridge. “The Empress of Nevaria and her husbands would be busy.”
“Indeed.”
Breakfast was quiet for a time as everyone ate. The porridge was a lot better than what I’d been eating since coming back to the past. Then again, all I’d eaten was honeyed bread, which wasn’t exactly the most flavorful dish ever conceived.
“This princess could get used to eating like this,” Lin said with a sigh. She had already polished off her plate, making me shake my head.
“You are free to have more if you want,” Kari said.
“Really?” asked Lin, who looked ecstatic at her words. Her long ears covered in scales wiggled with joy and the tip of her tail was thumping against the floor.
“Of course.” Kari smiled. “Our chef has been informed that Lamia are big eaters and she should prepare a lot more food for you.”
“Thank you, Big Sister!”
“Big Sister?” I mouthed the new title that Kari had been given, wondering what it was all about, but all Kari did was smile at me.
“Do you have any plans today, Eryk?” asked Kari.
“I… don’t know,” I admitted with a frown. “There are a lot of things I need to do, but I don’t know what I should do first.”
“Then would you be willing to listen to my suggestion?” asked Kari.
Glancing at the girl, I noticed the way she was biting her lip and made a guess. “Do you want to go and see Fay?”
“Yes.” An expression of Relief crossed Kari’s face when I caught onto what she wanted from me. “I don’t have classes today, and I’m sure Instructor Brynhild is busy dealing with the fallout of last night’s chase, so she’s unlikely to show up. Now would be the perfect time to see Fay and talk to her about my idea.”
There were a lot of things I could have done in response to her words. I could have asked, again, if she was really sure about this solution she’d come up with. I could have questioned her. I could have said no.
I did none of those things.
“I understand,” I said with a slow nod. “After breakfast, let’s go to the Valstine Family’s residence and ask if we can speak with Fay.”
The smile that blossomed on Kari’s face was worth more to me than all the valis in the world. “Thank you, Eryk.”
“You’re welcome,” I said.
“What should this princess do?” asked Lin.
“You will be coming with us, of course,” Kari said. “After all, Eryk is going to be courting you as well, so you’ll need to be introduced to Fay at some point. We also need to start letting people get used to your presence. Might as well start now, right?”
I couldn’t help but agree with Kari, and so, after Lin finished scarving down two more plates worth of smoked ham, the three of us left the Imperial Royal Palace, and traveled into Nevaria.
Comments
It's totally okay. I am actually grateful to people when they point out flaws found in this. The content you're getting is raw and unedited, so if you find any mistakes, feel free to point them out. :-)
Just wanted to comment on a few things that I found after reading this chapter. It's mainly some errors that I'm not sure you've caught on to or not before. When Eryk met with the butler, the butler said, "Good evening," but shouldn't it be "Good morning," since it's a new day? Also, when it comes to describing a woman's hair color, I've found out that it should be blonde for women and blond for men. And the final thing I found was after Eryk guessed Kari's intentions about meeting Fay. You had capitalized 'relief'. Sorry if I'm pointing things out for you like this. It's a habit I've acquired after doing editing for some wuxia novels for so long. Anyways, it's just some things I've noticed, that's all.
That's pretty interesting. I actually had no idea. When I was creating the yearly calender, my focus had been on considering how the numer of days would affect the seasons.
Robert Phipps Jr (Perren d'Wolff)
So I did the math. Someone who had just turned 18 in this world would be considered (purely on a number of days basis) 28, and that does not include the fact that i believe the days themselves are longer as well.
Started reading this series when the first book came out so less than a month ago, and then I decided I couldn’t wait any longer and had to start reading what was available. Needless to say this story is my favorite now, and the Kitsune series is really good too along with the Most Unlikely Hero, but for me nothing beats middle age times with magic (spirit powers) and monsters. Definitely have enjoyed the two sided story of how things came to be and how things are going to be “fixed.” Just finished this chapter and can’t help but think that 1) Lin is Medusa’s lost child and 2) that Eryk is somehow going to gain other elements without someone having to die because he’ll need them all to beat the Great Overlord.
rykott
Haha... so at some point the flashbacks will become the tame versions though ;D Indeed she is. I'm sure she'll grow into her ways... probably worse with some other ladies around to play with ;D
That is the whole reason I wrote the flashbacks. ;-) Adult Kari is definitely a sex kitten. Lol. I plan on slowly making Teen Kari more like Adult Kari as the series goes on. This is just an example of that. But yeah, Lin was put in her place.
rykott
Haha... I like how the flashbacks are the perfect excuse for the porn before the main story can really accommodate the porn yet ;D A good chapter in general though. Adult Kari is hawt as fuck. Poor Lin though... she got the fear of Kari put in her ;D
Awwwww. Why not? X3
Arthur V.
Me: *gets like 4 paragraphs into the chapter* Well, I'm not reading this on the bus.
I thought it would make a good contrast to show how different the two are. Adult Kari had to become strong because of what happened in her past. Teen Kari doesn't have that same strength because Eryk protected her. Of course, the potential is still there. Kari has some moments where she shows the strength of her adult version from Eryk's previous life, but she hasn't reached the strength of her previous self.
The flashbacks are so interesting, part of that has to do with the fact that Kari and Eryk are so very different in them. We have yet to see the power of the young Kari. Older Kari is so confident, sure of herself, the younger Kari not so much. Did love seeing her put Lin in her place.
I'm not a big fan of that method either, which is why I chose to use a flashback method. This is true. I didn't think of that. I'm wondering which way is better. Maybe for my next series, whichever one I decide to write, I'll try the volume flashback and see if it works.
Jericho Knight
I like the way you're doing it versus how it usually is where you get entire chapters or volumes of backstory. S ince those usually will happen right at an interesting arc and take away from that. Only downside is it's slightly harder to go back and find a specific part in the past since it's sprinkled accross multiple chapters.
Afraid so. Thank you. I'm happy you are enjoying it.
I think the talks will go well. After all the harem drama, thinks had better get somewhere. ;-) I'm glad you like those. I wasn't sure how well received these would be.
Jericho Knight
Can't wait to see how the talk with Fay goes. Also nice to see these mini flashbacks in the chapters building up the "how" for things that already happened.
Do I really have wait to start to read Act II. Chapter 2. I wanna so bad. Fantastic story so far. Can't wait to see where it goes.
Thank you! I am glad you've been enjoying this so much! :-)
Chris Turney
Epic! Act 2 is going to rule! Lin would totally say "This princess agrees" to that! And Brandon Varnell would be all modest about it even though he works so hard and makes this super good! That's my analysis!
