jackpot_kun
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[Young Master Xian]—❈—44:: Climax [VI]
🕑 Added 2025-01-19 21:37:13 +0000 UTCThe sun in my soul burns with a heat so intense it damn near steals my breath away.
I’ve never felt it like this before, so hot it borders on uncomfortable.
This is, without doubt, the work of the Ginde Pepper, and I find myself wondering, ‘if a peasant rank one can cause such a change, then what would a noble rank one, or even divine rank, be like?’
Setting the thought aside like the immaterial product of a spell of curiosity that it is, I rise to my feet, idly noting that my snapped femur has fused into a solid whole again.
My trouser leg where the dog monstrosity had gnawed on me is ruined, but the gaping holes in the material reveal scarred flesh like from an old wound.
I guess that’s the best that could be done.
I test out the leg, putting weight on it and waiting for pain.
A few, negligible twinges come.
Acceptable.
I check my right forearm next, finding it in even better condition.
Perfect.
Self-examination complete, my attention moves to my surroundings.
Fire so intensely hot it burns a blinding white surrounds me, but it doesn’t impede my senses. In fact, if anything, it strengthens it.
The dog monstrosity that had used my leg as a chew toy is dead, burnt beyond recognition but for the unmistakeable tang of corruption clinging to its corpse.
That’s where the good news end though, because Scum Qigang and Grodd’s roided up cousin are still very much alive, and both of them still have Meng Yi in their clutches.
The asshole with my face reaches a hand up to Meng Yi’s one visible eye, the other hidden under a massive purple bruise.
He presses his finger and thumb in. “One,” he says, threat clear.
I see Meng Yi’s fear. Her sheer terror. But she screams, “Qigang, run! Leave! Come back with The Imperial Army and kill this motherless goat!”
The gorilla holding her in a bearhug squeezes. I hear bones break.
Meng Yi clenches her teeth, weathering the pain and torture silently.
Xian Qigang tuts at her, then looks back to me, eyes twinkling with amusement.
Somehow, even through the flames of qi surrounding me, he meets my eyes easily.
“You know she never screams?” he asks conversationally, like we’re suburbian neighbours and he’s merely remarking upon the weather. “No matter how much I hurt her, she takes it silently.”
His eyes return to Meng Yi then, gaze almost wistful.
“She used to scream,” he says, and I feel the words spark a burning rage in my chest.
“I liked hearing her scream,” he continues. “Sometimes, I would even go a little harder than necessary just to hear it, you know?”
He looks at me. Like he expects me to understand.
I seethe with hate.
“Even when she didn’t scream, she would whimper in this way that got my blood pumping,” Xian Qigang continues. “Like a defenceless little bird.
“Of course, looking back on it now, it’s clear as day to me that it was a calculated move on her part to manipulate me, but even so… I would so very much like to hear it again.”
He takes her chin in his hand. The action looks gentle, but I can’t miss how his fingerprints remain on her skin after he pulls away.
“But, alas, she won’t whimper for me now. Little Yi has found her spine, I suppose.” His little smile fails entirely to hide the depths of his fury at that fact.
“It’s your fault, you know. Filling her head with hope and all that trash. Well, I wouldn’t be a very good Young Master if I didn’t correct her shortcomings, would I?
“So, here’s what we’re going to do, you thieving worm. You will surrender. If you do, I will kill you slowly and painfully and her quickly… and painfully. If you don’t…”
Casually, he reaches for Meng Yi’s hand, grabs one of her broken fingers, and rips it right off.
Then he sticks it into his mouth, strips off the flesh with his teeth, and proceeds to suck the blood off the bone.
The rage that had flared in me at his casual mutilation of Meng Yi morphs almost entirely into horror at his actions.
“I’ve come to learn recently that one can keep a person alive for quite some time if one eats them in small enough bites,” he says as he flings the bone over his shoulder.
My eyes follow it, and it takes Meng Yi’s voice to pull me back.
“Qigang, run. Go! Leave me! For Heaven’s sake, run!” Meng Yi screams once more. Every word digging into my heart like a knife.
“Save your breath,” Xian Qigang says. “He won’t leave you. The idiot loves you. And, worst of all, he has hope. Even now, in my realm, with both your deaths a foregone conclusion, there is still that little part of his brain that tells him that somehow, if he holds out long enough, things will work out. He will discover some weakness of mine, distract me in some way, save you.”
He laughs like it’s the most hilarious thing in the world, then he grabs another of Meng Yi’s fingers.
“Stop,” I scream. “Stop. Please, stop.”
The fire surrounding me winks out, and I raise my arms in surrender.
I can’t watch that again. I just can’t.
“See?” he asks Meng Yi, shaking his head like a disappointed father. “So predictable.”
And that’s when something that none of us predicted happens: Xiuying stumbles into the hidden realm.
Several things happen all at once.
First, everyone turns to stare at her in surprise and confusion, as she does the same to us, then, with the sharp mind of a warrior, or perhaps a predator, she takes in the situation faster than I, or Qigang, can wonder how she’s come to be here.
Her eyes flash from my evil doppelganger to me then to Meng Yi, then she moves and physics breaks.
Surefooted Steps of The Keen Tiger
The only thing I can liken it to is what moving within my soul had been like. When, instead of me moving through the world, the world had moved around me, taking me where I wanted to be.
It isn’t quite the same for Xiuying, but I lack the words to explain it better. As though what I’m witnessing is so far beyond my mind that I have no hope of comprehending it even if I meditate on it for a thousand years.
What is either a single step, or a thousand taken at once, carries Xiuying from where she stumbled into the hidden realm right to the back of the gorilla holding Meng Yi hostage, leg poised to deliver a devastating kick.
Xiuying covers the distance faster than I could, mostly because she doesn’t actually traverse the intervening space due to qi fuckery, but, for all her speed, Xian Qigang is fast, and he has the advantage of being right beside Meng Yi.
Which is where I come in.
Weight of The Emperor’s Will
It is an odd thing to realise in this moment, but I’ve always held back.
Even when I was still weaker than Xiuying and we had those hellish spars of hers, I’d held back.
I just don’t like hurting people.
Maybe it’s because I watched Qigang do it for years and hated every second of it, or perhaps it’s because one of the vestiges I moulded into myself was a pacifist; whatever the reason, I dislike hurting people.
Hence, I’ve always held back.
I don’t hold back with Xian Qigang.
A crown of solar fire blooms over his head, and the gaze of The Sun Emperor settles on him, judging.
Xian Qigang is found wanting.
‘Heavy is the Crown,’ The Sun Emperor declares. ‘Now feel it’s Weight.’
The pressure slams onto Xian Qigang so hard that the ground he stands on sinks eight feet.
Meanwhile, Xiuying’s kick connects with the overgrown monkey’s head so hard that it literally rips off, shooting away like a cannon bolt.
Xian Qigang comes bursting from the ground as black smoke, his strange ethereal form negating the power of my technique.
It doesn’t matter though, cause I’m already there.
Glory of The Sun
Turning into smoke might help him avoid the weight of my crown, but not even smoke can escape the fire of the sun.
My flame-coated fist slams into Xian Qigang, forcing him back into a physical state and sending his body ragdolling away.
Behind me, Xiuying frees Meng Yi from the embrace of the headless gorilla corpse.
I take both women in, one heavily wounded and the other breathing heavily, likely from the use of her sage rank technique.
Following the same instinct that guides almost everything cultivation related that I do, fire pours from my body to them.
Their qi networks soak it up, though Meng Yi’s much more readily than Xiuying’s, and a distracted part of my mind wonders if it’s because of her cultivation level, her injuries, or the fact that I altered her cultivation with my own, making a part of me part of her.
That’s irrelevant though. All that matters to me is the relief I feel as her injuries undergo days, if not weeks, of healing in seconds, and as her abysmal qi reserves climb back up.
Meng Yi sighs and stands straighter, looking at me with gratitude and… something else.
There’s a long conversation with her waiting in my near future, I think with some apprehension.
“Are we going to talk about your evil twin over there?” Xiuying asks.
“Later,” I reply. “For now, get Meng Yi out of here.”
Meng Yi begins to speak, then she stops and frowns in concentration for a bit.
“What is it?” I ask.
“We can’t leave,” she says. “I can’t sense the gateway anymore. He must be in control of the hidden realm somehow.”
I reach out my senses too, grimacing at the icky feeling of Wild Qi rubbing against it.
Meng Yi’s right, the gateway is gone. Qigang must be in control of it. Which means that he left it open this entire time simply to give us false hope.
That bastard!
“So, you’re saying the only way out is to kill him?” Xiuying asks, pointing.
We look where she’s pointing to see Xian Qigang rising from the dust.
His fancy blue outfit hangs from his shoulders a little weirdly, like he’s suddenly lost fifty pounds and grown four inches.
Around us, monsters begin to form from the ashy dirt. Dogs, gorillas, frogs, birds, all of them nightmarish in size, form and function.
Xian Qigang stands fully, and when he lifts his head, I see that his face has changed. Its longer, gaunt, teeth ending in needle points, yellow eyes sunken.
Straight dark hair frames his face like a veil of shadows.
“Xiuying?” I don’t need to say the words.
“I’ve got her,” Xiuying promises.
“Good.”
“Qigang,” Meng Yi calls and I look at her without turning fully away from the abomination wearing a mockery of my face.
Meng Yi looks like she wants to say a thousand words, but we both know that this is neither the time nor the place. So, finally, she settles for two simple, loaded words.
“Be careful.”
I nod, then say, “When we get back home, let’s work on the garden together. Maybe we can even bring your sisters, and plant some trees that Bingbing will like. What do you think?”
Meng Yi smiles. It doesn’t fully mask the maelstrom of other emotions she tries to suppress. “I would love that,” she says.
I smile back. “Good.”
Xian Qigang opens his mouth to speak then, and my flame-coated fist slams into his ugly face.
“Shut up and die,” I say, as the world around me devolves into chaos.
—❈——❈—
—❈——❈—
Can you tell yet that I'm terrible at writing fight scenes?
I have no idea how this big final fight will go. Or, more accurately, I have no freaking clue how to write it out in a fun, engaging way so... hold onto this for the time being while I go ponder this under the Waterfalls of Serenity.
If I'm not back in a week, then there's a very good chance that I drowned... Or, decided to change my name and move to Nepal to be a goat herder.
Thanks for reading.
Comments
Bee
It's emotionally satisfying to see (original cultivator asshole) get crushed
wanderer117
There clearly was another way it could go. Jackpot-kun edited his work so the MC wasn't surrendering for nothing. Now the MC has a fun weakness instead of a terminal case of dumb. I'll try one more time. When a robber pulls a gun and says "Your money and your life" a normal person will fight them even if they are unarmed. Yes, they might lose, they might even be likely to lose but when surrender = death why not try?
George Tasie
I made edits to it.
Daniel
Same.
Zaim İpek
I don't see how the idea of 'credit' factors in. There is no other way things could have gone. This isn't a multiple choice scenario. Every character involved only had a single realistic choice until Xiuying entered the scene. And other course of action would make no sense within the context.
dad
Me too. New edits or something?
Apoca
I got repinged with this chapter
wanderer117
Let's keep this simple then. 'His only option was to stall for time as much as possible. Surrendering accomplished that perfectly. In that same amount of time, he probably would have ripped off another body part and eaten it, but he didn't because he saw Qigang cooperating. Sooo plan = success. ' Are you saying because in the story things worked out that is to the MC's credit?
Monus
I actively skim all fight scenes in all stories. I would in fact prefer if people just stopped writing fight scenes and only tell me the outcome. They tend do drag on for the most part and don't really matter. So maybe just make the MC a buff and affliction monster and let's move on :P
Zaim İpek
I struggle to see your point or understand your question. I was trying to explain what was happening in the story, and explain why attacking would have been the worse choice for Qigang since you didn't seem to understand why he surrendered. It's likely that it would have been game over if Xiuying didn't arive when she did. That's the point of the scene. It's called tension and setting up the scene. There was no choice Qigang could have made that would let him "win". He fell into a very well crafted trap by a villain who is actually competent at being evil. The face it would have been game over without Xiuying is largely the point of this chapter. Is there confusion about that?
Zaim İpek
Eh, Qigang has special powers that aren't fully understood, even by himself. Maybe she thought he might have a chance of figuring something out if he stopped focusing on saving her. It might be that cultivation rank factors in, and while her cultivation and Xiuying's is too inferior to brute force the exit, she thought Qigang might have a chance with his higher cultivation quality and rank.
George Tasie
Yet another thing I shall deliberate upon under the Waterfalls of Serenity. 😔 Why is writing so hard?
Kevin Rule
This is a good fight scene, I think the problem is that you may be thinking to much of other cultivation stories that are heavy in terms of combat. Those get boring after they stretch on too long and then they get a bit ridiculous, short and to the point is fine
wanderer117
@Zaim Not sure what you are arguing for here? Are you saying because in the story things worked out that is to the MC's credit? We heard his inner dialog, that was not a calculated plan. That was panic then surrender. '“Stop,” I scream. “Stop. Please, stop.” The fire surrounding me winks out, and I raise my arms in surrender. I can’t watch that again. I just can’t.' If Meng Yi didn't have plot armor, if the MC didn't have plot armor, if Xiuying did not arrive exactly when she did that's game over. None of the other cultivators present are capable of dealing with evil MC. A mutilated MC is not winning a fight against his evil version and everyone else is multiple times weaker then he is.
Scipio
Quick question / plot hole. Why does she tell him to run when later in the chapter it says literally the opposite, that they can't leave without demon Qigang's permission? What if he *had* run, wouldn't he have just died tired since he couldn't actually escape? Liked the chapter though, just a bit of an inconsistency.
Franco R
Heck, you could even skip the fight scene for now, have them deal with the fall out and then have the fight scene come back in pieces like ptsd throughout more chapters. That way you don’t have to focus so long on it each time
Zaim İpek
You don't seem to have grasped the situation. Qigang is thoroughly in love. That means Meng Yi's life is more important that his own. Attacking would mean instant death for her, so that option was automatically out. His only option was to stall for time as much as possible. Surrendering accomplished that perfectly. In that same amount of time, he probably would have ripped off another body part and eaten it, but he didn't because he saw Qigang cooperating. Sooo plan = success. His actions are exactly what they should have been. You have the illusion that before Xiuying arrived, he had the possibility of ensuring Meng Yi's life. No. There was no possibility of that. It wasn't .001%. It was 0%. And he was going to be tortured first, that's a significant amount of time in which Meng Yi would not be the focus of attention. In that there may have been a .01% chance of reversing the situation. That's what he was hoping for. It was his only real opinion before Xiuying entered the scene and tipped the balance.
Zaim İpek
You are a liar. This is a fantastic fight scene. Most authors get this part wrong and think describing each move with very elaborate language is what connects the reader. It's not. What connects the reader to a fight scene is feeling the emotion of the main character behind each action. Feeling surprised when the MC is surprised. Feeling angry when the MC is angry. Feeling successful when the MC feels successful. And you do that PERFECTLY here. I think I felt every emotion of Qigang from watching Meng Yi's finger get ripped off and eaten, to Xiuying suddenly appearing and joining the fight, to finally seeing hope and jumping at the opportunity as soon as it arrived to mount a full-force counter attack, to the moment of cathartic rage mixed with tension of punching the demon bastard in the face. This is exactly how a fight scene should be written. You are a better writer than you give yourself credit. I am also realizing right now that you created a situation where Qigang and Meng Yi are perfectly compatible for "dual cultivation" due to how he altered her cultivation.
wanderer117
But the hostage taker's counter offer was surrender and I will killer her painfully. So if he acts and she dies he hasn't lost anything, if he acts and she lives he's saved her and himself. There is no down side. Young Masters aren't worth talking to or negotiating with 90% of the time since the main reason they are Young Masters is their poor grasp that other people are people and not toys.
MagicWafflez
ehhhh, he had ming yi hostage... there wasn't anything he could do to stop hom without him threatening ming yi's life... it'll be better now that she is away from danger I think.
marconjecture
Goat's cheese is delicious! And I really like your fight scenes!
wanderer117
What kind of story / scene are you trying to write? The MC standing helpless while Meng Yi is tortured is ruff. Like, is this our hero? Someone that gives up when faced with hardship? It's not like other him is offering to spare Meng Yi, he's actively hurting her right now so doing nothing feels extra bad and surrendering feels even worse. Then the MC is set up to solo other him once Xiuying arrives and carries Meng Yi away? So he was strong enough to win the hole time but he gave up rather then trying? Like delaying other him until Xiuying arrived then working with her and ideally Meng Yi to win the fight would be a friendship is magic story line. The MC soloing his other self without giving up would be a better then his worst self story line. Then you could have Xiuying come in while the fight is ongoing and free Meng Yi. There are lots of ways to write the fight to tell different stories, but I'm not sure what story you are trying to tell.
George Tasie
It is? Well, um... Okay. That's news to me honestly. I'm glad you think so though.
Oskar Nordström
Please don't be a goat herder. Meng Yi would have to come to you and talk about your weekly efficiency with a judgemental stare
Snuckytoes
“I’m terrible at fight scenes”. ->Proceeds to write a fantastic and engaging fight scene.
