ImmovableMage
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210 Twisted Soul
🕑 Added 2024-10-12 00:00:00 +0000 UTC– Era of the Wastes, Cycle 219, Season of the Rising Sun, Day 56 –
Terry was beginning to wish he was asleep just like Daisy. Either that or that his uncle had cast an invisibility spell on them all, because this was ridiculous. Citizens had come from all over the city to gawk. Or worse: to call out to Terry.
“Guardian!”
“We’ve been saved!”
“The Returnee has done it again!”
“Venerable Elder!”
“Miracle!”
Ridiculous.
I’ve done jack shit.
Terry’s face cramped up. He was tempted to pretend he was out and unconscious just like Daisy was. Honestly, he had tried that before, but then the exclamations of sorrow and mourning wails were even worse than the ridiculous epithets. The brief moments he had attempted to avoid attention, it had felt like a funeral procession.
Terry tried to look as grumpy as possible in the hopes of making people shut up. His honest face didn’t need much added incentive. Even though the overall occasion was joyful, he was beginning to feel irritated.
This shit was embarrassing. His family was around. They were the heroes.
He really wanted to crawl into a hole.
Just when Terry thought it could not get any more embarrassing, he locked eyes with a familiar looking martialist elder.
Oh no.
No no no.
Please don’t come— Crap he’s coming.
Terry glanced at his uncle Samuel and could not help but sigh.
“Venerable Elder, we appreciate your lesson.” The martialist elder smiled smugly. He had always known how this would end.
“Uh-huh, thanks.” Terry spoke hollowly with a deadpan face.
“When everyone comes together, miracles do happen,” continued the smug elder with a knowing grin.
“Yup, miracles.” Terry just wanted this to be over. “Yup.”
“With a righteous heart, sacrifices will never be in vain,” continued the martialist elder while following Terry's floating medical treatment.
“Yup, uh-huh, uhm, actually, I’m kind of in the middle of treatment and uhh…” Terry’s mind raced for an excuse until the image of a certain intensely irritated woman from the local Circle of the Bright Lady surfaced in his mind. “And I really need to rest. So if you don’t mind, uhm…” He pointedly looked at the martialist.
“Of course, Senior..:” The elder puckered his lips. “You… require healing.” He smirked as if he was in on a secret joke and winked. He stepped aside and left the procession alone.
Terry’s eyes were glued to the back of Samuel’s head. Of course, his uncle would turn around after this embarrassing conversation.
Ridiculous.
Terry had avoided landing in an early grave, but now the idea of a hole with his name on it didn’t sound so bad anymore. A nice little hole to crawl into and avoid all of this nonsense.
“Should I even ask?” Samuel seemed intensely amused.
“Please don’t,” implored Terry and he tried to make himself as small as possible. He had many things to talk about with his family. From what exactly had happened, over his discoveries and injuries, all the way to what the Wastes was going on with his soul or lack of one.
So many more topics than some martialists that had even more screws loose than normal.
“Any suggestions for a place to take you where we can set up?” asked Samuel.
“This way.” Terry pointed. There was already a healing chamber for him at the Flower House. Perhaps his family could improve it. Daisy would have to be brought to her home as well.
They arrived under the many gazes of joyous spectators.
Samuel paused when he spotted the building that Terry was leading him to. He glanced at his accepted nephew and muttered. “Alright. That’s going to be a conversation you should have with your parents.” He snorted with amusement and shrugged slightly before continuing right into the main entrance of the Flower House.
***
“Most of the stragglers have been dealt with.” Isille walked into Terry’s room in the Flower House and held her head. “This country is making me tired.” She furrowed her brow. “An old man in a fancy dress just questioned my intentions with the ‘Venerable Elder’.”
Terry cringed and opened his mouth with no words to say.
Isille puckered her lips. “I don’t believe I’m old enough to have my son being addressed as ‘elder’ anything. Am I? It’s the hair isn’t it.” She flicked her snow white hair. “I guess no one is doing potion rituals for aesthetics.”
Terry knew that his mother was trying to lighten the mood, but he didn’t find the state of his parents a joke. They were alive, but they were now sharing a single lifespan. The unnatural hair color was proof of it.
“I think there are people outside that want to talk to you,” said Isille with a warm smile. “They’re being blocked by an uncompromising cultist woman insisting that you need rest. Seems like a reasonable lady. I like her.”
The idea of his designated healers teaming up with his parents made Terry shiver. That scenario would not have him leave his room until he was Devon’s age probably.
I already have the looneys gathering too. Oh and a creepy soul-thing! I’m really turning into Devon’s little brother, aren’t I? If they move my house arrest into a tower, the picture would be complete.
Wait…
“How did you get in here if Akemi is blocking the way?” asked Terry with narrowed eyes.
Isille snorted. “Please. I said I like her, not that I would let her stop me from seeing my son. Besides, I think this visit would help your recovery. Health goes beyond the body.” She smiled warmly. “It would help them too.” She tilted her head. “And right now, your miserable looks might earn you some pity points.” She clicked her tongue. “Although it’s hard to say if they’ll let you off just like that.”
Terry rushed to stumble out the door. He shakily ran past his stunned bodyguards, healers, and past his smiling uncle. He hurriedly limped through the Flower House’s main entrance…
…when someone knife-handed him onto his head from behind.
“What are you doing?!” demanded Akemi from down the stairs. The channeler of the Bright Lady glowered at the offending elf.
“Ambush,” said the familiar voice of one of Terry’s oldest companions. Siling deadpanned at the offended channeler. “He had it coming.” She creased her brows and stared at Terry. “What’s wrong with you? Since when can I take you by surprise? Last time I used Peekaboo’s mana ability to conceal myself, it didn’t give you any trouble.”
Terry’s mouth opened several times without saying anything before he finally found his tongue. “Long story. Temporarily crippled senses.”
Wait until I get my mana touch and soulsight back working properly.
“Uh-huh.” Siling’s expression softened for a moment before she recomposed herself for her intended role. “Good to know. I’m going to exploit the shit out of that until I get tired of it. Be prepared.”
Shit.
“Did you seriously have your bird soul shit on me?” asked Terry while squinting at his cheeky friend.
In the background, a junior martialist gasped with a horrified expression. What kind of bird would dare to shit on the mighty senior?
“Yes, I did.” Siling held his gaze unflinchingly. “You had it coming. Next time, you want to be alone for a suicide mission, you can just say so, shithead.”
“Well…” Terry gulped and then found himself tackled by two shorter figures that were clinging to his waist.
“Hey!” Akemi protested again. “He’s still injured and…”
But Terry didn’t listen to his healer’s grumblings. He was too happy and too busy hugging his dwarven siblings back.
“They covered for me so that I could sneak past the cultist lady for the ambush,” explained Siling. “Tiana had the unreasonably reasonable habit of agreeing with the lady and stressed that your rest took priority over reunions. She and the others are still with Chadwick. They’re checking in with that tired-looking dwarf from the city guard to see where they can help. They’ll catch up later.”
Terry was glad to hear that Tiana was here, too. For one, because he was looking forward to seeing his friend and companion again, but also because it meant that her demonic possession problem must be well under control for her to come and join the fight.
That was a relief. The tall woman had enough trouble with her external mana control impairment. It was great to know that Tiana was succeeding to overcome the lightning elementals that were possessing her mind.
Terry was surprised to hear that her brother Chadwick had come as well. The lightning-aspected man was a soldier in the Arcanian army. It probably wasn’t easy for him to request a leave of duty to follow his sister into such a confrontation.
After a few quiet seconds, Terry could see that Lori was stomping on his foot.
“Whaka Terry, once you’ve recovered, we’re going to spar,” hissed Lori while hugging her brothers tighter.
I guess I deserved that.
I’m not going to point out that Samuel temporarily disabled my pain receptors, though.
Jorg only added an affirmative grunt while tears were rolling down his face.
It was at this moment that Terry realized his siblings and Siling were similarly well equipped to his parents.
Not the same power but probably adjusted to what they can handle. Can’t have been cheap. Aunt Brynn must be the sponsor for them all. They were geared for war from the beginning.
War…
Terry finally remembered the situation they were still in. He had been relieved at seeing the most recent wave crushed by his whaka. He had been glad beyond belief to see his whaka again. Now, however, he was faced with the realization that he had dragged his whaka into an actual war.
Unless, of course, Terry left with them for Arcana.
But could he really pack up and leave the city? He still remembered the wall of the dead that was the city gate. The city’s situation hadn’t changed and neither had his relation with it.
But could he really ask his family and friends to stay? They had no relation with this city. They had come here for him.
This was war.
He had once scolded his siblings for dragging him into a secret dungeon dive.
This was war.
Hypocrite.
Idiot.
Terry focused on his breathing to push his intrusive thoughts away.
***
After talking to his siblings and Siling – and after more than a few chiding glares from Akemi – Terry returned to the Flower House.
He had learned that Tiana, Miguel, and Elena had also come to the Freedom Cooperative together with his family. Lori and Tiana had also brought some other members they currently grouped up with.
For some members in Tiana’s group, it was apparently not entirely voluntary. They were people sharing Tiana’s affliction. They had been possessed by elementals after Arcana’s barrier had broken and they all relied on Matteo to subjugate the elementals until they mastered them on their own. Since his cousin Matteo had not hesitated to come, they had little choice but to follow him and Tiana.
They must hate my guts.
Terry felt guilty and also a bit wary. Tiana’s group wasn’t the only one that sparked some conflicted feelings.
Lori had acted cagey when talking about her own new group. As if she was fearing that Terry would not get along with them. His first thought was that she had brought Alrik again, but after inquiring with a whisper to Jorg, that was apparently not the case.
Gellath had stayed behind in Arcana in order to watch over Terry’s ‘Senior Disciples’ from Tiv – the unusually short dwarf Thena and her bodyguard Clayson.
Siling had said that Calam, his force-aspected elven friend, was still doing his ‘hero apprenticeship’ somewhere in the now defunct Tiv Empire where the Valkyrie was settling some business for pushing along the dissolution of Tiv into Arcana’s territory.
Calam had apparently lucked out and became the disciple of the Valkyrie, which made Terry happy. Happy for Calam, because his force-aspected friend got to learn directly from his biggest idol.
Also happy for himself, because there was no doubt in Terry’s mind that the Valkyrie would eventually show up to confront the Lich Kingdoms. No matter if centuries had passed since the Valkyrie’s oath, she would honor it. Her arrival would not only allow Terry to see Calam again but it also might resolve his current internal conflict.
If the great Valkyrie would take over the city’s defense, then a fraud like him would not be needed anymore. He wouldn’t have to drag his whaka down further either.
To Terry’s surprise, Siling had claimed that the Valkyrie had asked about him, which sparked a lot of questions, but this conversation had to be cut short and postponed until later.
Terry really needed to rest. Before he could step into his specialized healing chamber, however, someone else approached him: The representative of the Flower House was wearing a distressed expression.
“What’s wrong?” asked Terry.
“...what happened, Terry?” Jasmine returned her own question. “Daisy isn’t coming out of her room. I know she is awake. She isn’t eating. She doesn’t answer when I talk to her.” The representative of the Flower House looked at Terry with pleading eyes. “Why were you two brought in from outside the city? How? Brandon came with a book and she just refused to see him. She never refuses story time with the boy. What happened? What…?”
Oh right.
Terry took a deep breath. Another unpleasant topic he hadn’t dealt with yet. He needed to rest, but could only sigh. He looked at his former employer that had nerves to walk high up in the sky without any safety rope but looked completely shaken now.
Terry considered telling her everything, but stopped himself. His honest face was probably revealing everything anyway. Still, he thought he might go about it another way. “I can try talking to her.” He almost missed the times when his biggest problems were worrying about failing an examination.
Shit was simpler then.
Terry knocked and then entered Daisy’s room. He could see the back of her head poking out of a blanket on her bed. He saw a copy of the Path of a Mage on the desk. He didn’t know if it was the one that he had given to her or if Brandon had brought his own copy and left it.
Doesn’t matter.
Terry sat down on a chair next to the desk. “How are you feeling? Any weird sensation from the stab wound?”
Daisy winced when she heard Terry’s voice. After a heavy silence, she replied faintly. “...no.”
“Good.” Terry meant it. He felt conflicted about what had happened. He wasn’t sorry for rejecting her. He wasn’t sorry for following the path of who he wanted to be. He had naturally felt betrayed by her actions at first, but the feeling softened after Daisy had thrown even her own life away trying to help him.
Attacking a vampire with no mana and only a little dagger took courage. Her preceding actions must have been driven by a similar desire to help him, even if her understanding of him had been twisted beyond his own recognition.
Daisy had obviously been desperate to protect him. Despair exacerbated by her own weakness.
Despite the betrayal of his principles, Terry could relate to that.
“Jasmine asked me what happened,” said Terry slowly.
Daisy winced again.
“I’m not going to lie, but…” Terry took a deep breath. He did not like whom his next words reminded himself of. “...but I don’t have to say everything.”
Daisy turned around. Her eyes were red and puffy. She must have been crying a lot. She grimaced and shook her head. “No. No more lies. I’m horrible. They should know. I’m a monster. I betrayed all of them. Would have left them all to die.” She shook her head. “I’m horrible.”
Wow. Yikes.
Terry took a deep breath. He felt more comfortable facing the count. Normally he only heard such a rapid firing of deprecating words from his own intrusive thoughts.
“I…” Terry searched for words. “...don’t believe you’re horrible. You made a horrible mistake.” He shrugged. “Influenced by horrible people. You’re…” Again he had to consider his words. “...kind. They twisted that kindness.”
“I betrayed them all…” Daisy trembled and began crying again.
I’m not very good at this.
“If you want to tell them, that’s your choice,” said Terry with a smile. “For what it’s worth, I would do the same. But if you tell anyone, tell them the whole story. You wanted to save someone. Even if that someone wasn’t me.”
“I’m not better than that traitor guard that had you kidnapped,” muttered Daisy.
Whatever happened to that guy? I know that the three traitors were supposed to be taken care of by Thiago and the others but— Not the time.
Focus.
“You didn’t kill anyone,” stressed Terry.
“I nearly got you killed!” protested Daisy.
“Not your intention,” stressed Terry. “And you nearly got yourself killed trying to help me.” This whole conversation started to feel oddly familiar. Only normally, Terry conversed in this manner with his own intrusive thoughts.
“I’m not going to lie,” began Terry. “You were ready to abandon the city. I wasn’t ready to do the same, but I understand.” He knew what it felt like to feel conflicted. He had run from undead hellspawn to focus on his return to Arcana. Those very undead had torn through villages and settlements as well. He also understood the despair that came from being too weak… or too naive and only realizing it after the fact.
Even so.
“That’s not the same as murdering someone,” stressed Terry again. “You’re not the same as…” He shrugged. “You shouldn’t have lied to me though. This wouldn’t have been as complicated if you had just told me what was going on.”
Daisy nodded faintly while tears continued rolling down her face and onto her pillow. Her mouth opened and reopened several times without saying anything until she finally forced out faint words. “Can we still be… friends?”
Terry was taken aback. He hadn’t expected such a question and this made him pause. After considering his words, he replied. “Sure, but only if you promise to never twist yourself again. Not for me. I don’t believe you wanted to do that. You twisted yourself to do it. Don’t do that. You’re my friend the way you are. Don’t twist that beyond recognition.” His eyes fell onto the book on the desk.
Terry shakily stood up and brought the Path of a Mage over. “Follow the kind of person you want to become.” He shrugged. “Even if it’s not the Veilbinder. Whatever story you choose.” He limped to the door. “I think we both need some rest, but surely, there’ll be time for stories again.”
“Thank you…” Daisy smiled and looked at the book.
***
“Thank you, Terry.” Jasmine’s voice caused Terry to flinch.
Damn, I can’t wait until my senses recover to become reliable again. This is ridiculous.
Terry turned to see Jasmine standing close to the door to Daisy’s room. It wasn’t hard to guess what the representative of the Flower House had been doing. “You heard?”
“Yes,” admitted Jasmine with strange nonchalance. “I’m… not surprised, to be honest. I knew Daisy was built differently than the other flowers, which was why I asked you to be mindful.”
Terry felt the urge to say sorry, but he wasn’t sure how he could have acted any differently. He wasn’t sure what he had done wrong if he had indeed done anything wrong. In the end, he remained quiet.
“You should rest,” said Jasmine and then she knocked on Daisy’s room.
That I should…
***
Before Daisy could say anything, Jasmine preempted her. “I’m sorry, Daisy.”
Daisy blinked with incomprehension.
“I’ve listened at the door,” said Jasmine.
Daisy paled and averted her gaze with shame.
“But that’s not what I meant when I said that I’m sorry,” continued Jasmine. She shook her head with a pensive look. “You know when I was working under the previous representative of this house, I always thought it was so obvious how everything should be done.
“The old representative and I were constantly arguing.” Jasmine smiled wistfully. “I believe that’s why she eventually chose me to nominate as representative – because I cared.”
Jasmine took a deep breath. “We always argued about whom to accept as a flower. She wanted to accept everyone with a good heart, even if they didn’t have any other options.” She put a hand to her forehead. “Or exactly because. She didn’t want to withhold an option that might be their only one.”
Jasmine sighed. “I always stressed that a single option is not actually a choice. Presenting only an option that will be regretted is not helpful. It’s a trap.” She spread her arms. “I always thought I knew how to run everything. Always confident. Never regretting.”
Jasmine looked at Daisy. “Until you.” She shrugged. “Some love this work. If they weren’t working here, they might even visit as clients. Some don’t mind the work and they enjoy the business, or prefer the pay over other occupations. They all have their goals and the work is compatible with them. They won’t regret this.
“But you?” Jasmine shook her head. “You didn’t have to work here. You wanted to work here. You wanted to work here and I don’t get it. I don’t get it, because from the moment you started working here, you always seemed to look for someone to take you away.
“You fixate on a single visitor and seem to build them up in your head, only to be disappointed.” Jasmine sighed heavily. “I’m not even talking about what happened with Terry, but about your guests like Alexander.” She started crying. “You have your head in the clouds and I don’t think reality will ever catch up with that. I’m sorry, because I don’t know how to help you. I don’t believe this line of work is good for you.”
“...should I go?” muttered Daisy. She wasn’t surprised. She had done something horrible. It was no wonder she was being thrown out.
“No,” denied Jasmine firmly. “You’re part of our Flower Cooperative. You have every right to be here. I don’t want to throw you out of your home. I want to help you be happy and I don’t believe this work is compatible with that. For others, yes. But not for you.”
Jasmine walked closer and knelt next to Daisy’s bed. “If you could start over. What would you like to be?”
Daisy wiped away her tears. She didn’t feel deserving of being treated so kindly by a woman she had been ready to abandon. Jasmine surely had tried to be kind when calling this place her home, but for Daisy it reminded her of what she had been ready to abandon. Which in turn reminded her of the moment that the vampires had attacked Terry. When all her efforts had ended with her own dagger stabbed into her chest. When she had felt powerless to do anything.
Looking at Jasmine, who was showering her with concern even after all she had done, Daisy could not help but picture all the other people she cared about. All the other people she would be equally powerless to protect when it mattered.
Daisy’s eyes landed on the book on her bed and she muttered: “...is it too late to accumulate mana in my body?”
Jasmine patted Daisy’s head. “Never. And you know what? I often thought we should have a proper Flower Protector on our own. We’ll make it work.” She smiled reassuringly. “And that would also save us the fees for the Guild, so it’s a win-win all around. Eventually.”
***
“I’m surprised you joined the scouting,” remarked Emaldine. She placed her two long spears carefully on the ground and followed the young archer’s gaze.
“Why? Since I’m already here, I might as well make myself useful,” said Miguel while looking over the cliff. He squinted to focus his trained eyes on the distance. “Edmund said this would be useful, so here I am. Anyway, it was pretty clear that we won’t get to see Terry and I wasn’t ready to pick a fight with the cultist.”
“Are you sure it’s not that you’re trying to avoid Lori’s second brother until she tells him about you two?” teased Tiana. The tall human woman knelt down next to the two dwarves.
“You think I would rather face the Lich Kingdoms than Lori’s brother?” Miguel raised an eyebrow.
“Well, from the stories, ‘the Guardian’ brought the Lich Kingdoms’ invasion to a halt.” Tiana pointed out. A spark of lightning flickered through her eyes.
“Those stories can’t really be true, can they?” muttered Miguel while observing the horizon. “Besides, I think Terry will be happy for us.”
“I think so too,” agreed Tiana.
Miguel glanced at Emaldine. “I’m training to be a tracker which relates to scouting work. I’m surprised that you’re here though.”
“I’ve walked through the Union on my own, you little pellet,” grumbled Emaldine. “I can handle myself. I’ve traveled the Wasted Zone for years before. Scavenging work has lots in common with scouting.”
“I’m not sure I would call scavenging ‘work’,” retorted Miguel flatly.
Emaldine rolled her eyes. “Boy, now you sound like my ma.”
“Being compared to the Divine Hammer is not as much of an insult as you might think,” retorted Miguel.
Emaldine held back her initial reply and looked pensively. “Yeah, I guess it’s not.” She missed her mother. She had even started practicing the divine hammer inscription in secret. Although she would not admit that to anyone. Not yet at least.
“Shh.” Chadwick jumped down from the ledge over their heads and gestured for them to be quiet. “From the northeast. That’s what we’re here to scout.”
“I see it…” Miguel squinted. “What the—?!” He flinched back.
“Shh.” Chadwick held Miguel’s mouth after the sudden exclamation. “At this distance, we have to be careful.”
Miguel was shaking his head with a dumbstruck expression. “We have to go. Now!”
After they had distanced themselves somewhat, Miguel explained: “An army of strangely twisted soul spirits and…”
“The Spirited Duchess,” said Chadwick. “I’ve heard about her in the army. The city guard of the Bloodborne King— Sorry of the Freedom Cooperative mentioned that the invasion was likely being overseen by the Five Unholy Duchesses. They’re strong, so what’s…?” He didn’t understand what had triggered such a strong reaction in the dwarven archer.
“Yeah, that was impressive but waste it.” Miguel shook his head and motioned for them to hasten the return. “I hope my eyes are going blind because…”
“Because what?” asked Tiana worriedly. Of those present, she had interacted the most with Miguel before. His reaction was definitely off.
“You know how we thought we could rescue Terry and return?” muttered Miguel. “Perhaps buy time for a proper evacuation or save the city a few times and then return eventually. Well, I don’t see that happening. Not with her. Shit just got weird.”
“Why?” pressed Emaldine.
Miguel looked at Tiana. “That Spirited Duchess or whatever. She looks exactly like Siling.” His face contorted. “If Siling was a soul spirit.” He gestured in front of him. “An elven soul spirit! And I don’t mean she resembles her, or some all elves look alike bullshit. I mean that abominable soul spirit looks like the spitting image of our friend!”
***
– End of Arc 7, Indomitable Bonds –
Comments
Dog City
That makes sense, but I think one of the big difference between serialized webnovels and traditional novels is the excitement and anticipation for the next chapter. In some ways every chapter of a webnovel is a cliff hanger because we have to wait to find out what happens next. To me, it felt like last chapter was a cliffhanger of an emotional sort, and I spent the week looking forward to seeing his interactions with his family.
ImmovableMage
I put the family interactions more towards the beginning of the next arc. I figured Terry's family would be busy setting up in the city and dealing with the mess. Terry's also supposed to rest. In this chapter, I prioritized resolving the situation with the locals (Daisy, Jasmine) and teasing the appearance of the Spirited Duchess / the Elven Soul.
ImmovableMage
After the feedback, I tried to add some more context clues. A short overview for this chapter: - Terry's family: Lori (earth-aspected dwarven sister), Jorg (unaspected dwarven brother with a slight external control impairment), Isille (unaspected dwarven mother with an external control impairment) - Terry's companions: Siling (elven woman that specializes in soul spirits), Tiana (human woman with an external control impairment that has been possessed by lightning elementals), Calam (force-aspected elven man whom Terry had a falling out with before his dungeon disappearance) - Terry's extended family: Emaldine (daughter of the Divine Hammer, former scavenger that fights with two exploding long spears) - Lori's companions: Elena (blood-aspected human woman) - Jorg's companions: Miguel (coldfire-aspected dwarven archer) - Family members of companions: Chadwick (brother of Tiana) - Locals: Edmund (dwarven head of city guard), Jasmine (human representative of the Flower House), Brandon (the orphaned boy who is raised in the Flower House), Daisy For a full reference of characters appearing in earlier arcs, check the character glossary after arc 6 https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39344/immovable-mage/chapter/1593157/arc-06-character-glossary There will be a character glossary after the end of arc 7 on Royal Road again as well.
ImmovableMage
After the feedback, I tried to add some more context clues. A short overview for this chapter: - Terry's family: Lori (earth-aspected dwarven sister), Jorg (unaspected dwarven brother with a slight external control impairment), Isille (unaspected dwarven mother with an external control impairment) - Terry's companions: Siling (elven woman that specializes in soul spirits), Tiana (human woman with an external control impairment that has been possessed by lightning elementals), Calam (force-aspected elven man whom Terry had a falling out with before his dungeon disappearance) - Terry's extended family: Emaldine (daughter of the Divine Hammer, former scavenger that fights with two exploding long spears) - Lori's companions: Elena (blood-aspected human woman) - Jorg's companions: Miguel (coldfire-aspected dwarven archer) - Family members of companions: Chadwick (brother of Tiana) - Locals: Edmund (dwarven head of city guard), Jasmine (human representative of the Flower House), Brandon (the orphaned boy who is raised in the Flower House), Daisy For a full reference of characters appearing in earlier arcs, check the character glossary after arc 6 https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/39344/immovable-mage/chapter/1593157/arc-06-character-glossary There will be a character glossary after the end of arc 7 on Royal Road again as well.
ImmovableMage
Thanks for the feedback. I've tried to add a few more context clues.
ImmovableMage
Thank you! That's very kind of you. I appreciate it.
Shaun
Yeah that was a lot of characters I had to look for context clues about - and I could've used a few more clues
Shaun
Subbed finally after I saw you had patreon. I can't believe how few followers this story has, I'll keep recommending it there's a ton of things I enjoy about it
BeauZoe
Happy they're here again, and I'm excited for the future but I definitely felt like I needed a brush up on names and characters this chapter. While I was reading their conversations seemed to all blend together despite my minds insistence that given time it could parse them apart and assign them properly. I know its a symptom made worse by the stories ongoing nature. However, I don't think I would have managed to keep the characters all in mind and connected to their names even had I binge read it all at once. If I were honest with you and myself, I think it could have been handled differently and for better effect. So, here is my attempt at some useful constructive criticism... 1) I think that an over reliance on a 'characters list' style look up table is a particularly nasty crutch for an author to fall into. Having to stop and reference one breaks reader immersion pretty badly. The logical alternative is to slow down when necessary and give each returning character the spotlight as if they were new (new again) if only for the readers sake. They each deserve to have the out of sight growth/changes be really noticed and taken in, by internal exposition or through dialog. A well meaning "I haven't seen you since..." or even a "what's that your wearing" from either side followed by a conversation that ties us back to a recognizable scene can really go a long way towards bridging the connections in readers minds. Now, in the back end of last chapter this could be excused because the energy flow was still dropping off after the climactic fight with the countess. Terry was simply overwhelmed at seeing everyone again. That leaves this chapter with only one excuse, which brings me to my next point. 2) The rigid aspects of your planned story arcs and chapter lengths coupled with the episodic deadlines of your release schedule have begun to limit you. I feel like point number one is something you would have done yourself had you not felt rushed to have a chapter ready by Friday, or felt the need to keep to an arbitrary chapter length/arc length. On the flip side, I understand that these rules may be crucial to your ability to maintain this constant output. I don't have any ideas for it beyond informing you of what I see. Perhaps just consider coming back to this chapter once the story is finished for a rewrite before publishing. Anyways, this isn't me trying to attack you and your quality of writing, I'm still very happy to be here as each chapter comes out and this chapter hasn't dampened that. While I missed it here, point one can much more freely be implemented in the first chapter of the next arc. I don't know quite how to end this essay so I'll just say this. I care a lot about your story and want to see it and by extension yourself reach fullest potential. Even now I rank this story up there with The Hobbit and the Eragon trilogy, and it's not even finished. You'll go even further beyond, I just know it.
Sesharan
There’s a character glossary after each arc on Royal Road. I suggest checking the one after chapter 30, since most of Terry’s family appeared in the first arc.
Sesharan
So much for Terry getting to go straight home to Arcana, then. Oh well, the important part of home is the people. It would have been nice to get access to all of Arcana’s resources, but Terry’s family are what matters. And this way, they can get a nice dramatic demonstration of just how powerful he’s become once he recovers.
Storyhunter
I was glad that was cleared quickly..... Leaving the bad air sitting around in the home base would not go well. He did speak with his family some but. The situation outside is complex + Terry is rather badly injured. So events where he putters around in the flower house should be the extent of things. Reminds me of Faramire in the return of the king when he was stuck in the castle. Fairly boring but lots of character growth. .... + Yes more discussion with his family about home and his misadventures is something I'm anticipating.
themainmememan
I'm sorry but it's been so long. Who tf are these people? Can somebody give me like a bullet point list of like what the look like, their relation to Terry, and how they fight?
Dog City
I can't remember who any of these people are, it's a flood of names we haven't heard in forever. Also was looking forward to more of Terry with his family but he talked more to daisy than them.
Storyhunter
Thats a very awkward way to find out someone had a relative that went down a very dark road....... Or was captured and turned. Anyway it's fairly clear Terry is actually going to be healing up now. Hopefully in time to play with the undead army. However the political situation In the city is going to be "complex".
Usernames_are_annoying
TFTC!
