XaydLove

Soooooo

I don't know why it took me so long to think of this but I'll be posting the sfw cosplays here at the Blessings tier 💛We got a backlog of those 😂In other news - I'm still struggling with school. And general life things. It's kinda stressful but I'm trying to remind myself that I'm capable of making it work. Bc I can make it work....The Twitch Con adjacency....gotta work on that too. Need to sell a few more paintings....

(over)whelm

Hey y'allSchool has been kicking my entire ass lately. I'm behind. In pretty much everything. To the point where I'm reconsidering my life choices.I'll be ok. I'm sure of it. But right now it doesn't feel like I am. I'm literally hustling backwards and I realize now i've been doin that for years.I just hope I can move forward real soon....Pls enjoy the sky showin out the last two days.I love you. - xayd

found a hidden track

i sang this for my uncle's funeral back in 2020. it was virtual & i couldn't attend. my aunt asked me to record a few songs for them to play during it. it was the easiest and hardest recording i've ever done. imma be honest i kinda cried thru it.Don't Worry About Me - originally sung by Francesi also did these lolhttps://soundcloud.com/user-165103196/precious-lordhttps://soundcloud.com/user-165103196/amazing-grace

ok so

part of the EP is up. i posted 6 of the tracks that can be found here on soundcloud.i have another 6 posting in a month or so...my goal is to have at least one of my songs complete enough for yall to hear by november because i want to put my own music out. i've been writing but not talkin about it much. it's a lot of raw feelings and i'm not sure if i'll include them but...yea.school starts on monday. i'm a bit nervous because...

Head Space

You know that clean slate feeling you get when you blow your nose after one of those goood deeeep ugly cries? That's the caliber of reset I need.I feel so tired and sad and heavy and stuck too often.... Like I need a full detox just so I can get going again.As if my Soul is constipated. Damn.And every time I realize I'm bout 2 days from giving up on my dreams simply to afford to never to go back, i panic even more. Like I'm an armed r...

Hom

Ok I'm back. I'm very tired but I have an announcement.Patreon rolled out video embeds for posts but only for accts who don't have nsfw content. I haven't been doing many saucy drawings or sharing much here lately. I think I'll move that to just be discord posts since those who are subbed at that level are in the server and either revise or completely remove that level for this platform. That way I can post the cloud videos an...

This JUST happened.

I finally made it to Buc-ee's. It was massive. There were way too many people! It was heards of livestock going in every direction. They had all kindsa stuff. I didn't take photos bc there were too many people everywhere. But I got to take a photo with Buc-ee. And I got a sticker afterwards!And that brisket sandwich was d e c a d e n t.And the Amadeus journal is up up now. 💛 Thank you for the support. On my way to blerdcon. Wish me luc...

N E W S !!

Okayso one of the secret surprises that I forgot to follow up on? doing it now lolI started making the journals! Starting with the Aquatic Musicians series, the Amadeus design is now available on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9KBB95R The current size is like that of a composition book (7"x9"). I kinda feel like they're still too big but I'm happy enough with this end product. If I change anything, it'd be to make a...

bucket uh MOO

My sister commissioned me to crochet her a cow print bucket hat. It's coming along...Might gotta make me one—🤭I'll post what it looks like when i finish~

impermanence

while i was back in SC...so i went back to SC for work and family stuff. My friend Bishop flew in to attend the show (more on that some day) and we drove around town, just because i hadn't really done so in years.Out of curiosity, i drove to my old middle school. I planned to drive the route my grandmother took to pick me up to explain why she was always so early, show the big tree where I'd give back scratches for case quarter during re...

Update: I don't know

I've been wanting to tell y'all about all my adventures. I don't know where or how to start. What to even say. It's kinda overwhelming, the longer i sit and try to figure it out. I've been having a few...moments of clarity and blips of normalcy but it's not been enough for me to fully grasp what I'm doing. Or complete all my tasks. It's a bit frustrating. But it's life.I applied for school again but I'm not...

Drawing exercise 7&8

Drew myself since i haven't done that in a while. I feel so lost.

May..

Brains been real scribbly lately..

been pretty stormy lately

Not everyone likes storm clouds. But i think I'll start taking and sharing them anyway. Every day is not pretty n sunny. Sometimes it's pretty and grey. There are also day where it's just blue. And that's pretty ok too.

Drawing exercise....6

I haven't been posting these daily. Or doing them as daily as I'd like. But it's ok. I can't do everything every day....

busy busy

it's been a busy couple of weeks. I'm currently doing a cosplayathon with my best friend, ThiccSparkleButt on twitch to celebrate our stream anniversaries & her birthday. Tomorrow's the last day of it. We're gonna play Fortnite. ... Fortnite is a lot 😅 but we gone have fun with it. Please enjoy this drawing i did of a prairie dog ♡

drawing exercises pt 2

there are three now. imma paint em.

drawing exercises

subjects may be in various states of undress so I'll classify them as such.i feel like i can't draw anymore so I'm doing exercises on paper. we got lady enjoying a beverage. and another laying on the beach. might paint em...

existence

i'm hungry

but i don't want to chew anythingOh. Also, i wrote a song last week but I'm not fully sure how it sounds yet. It's based on Donna Summer's "Love To Love You Baby" but sang from Raliya's pov. Raliya is one of my DnD OC's. She's a satyr, healer bard. Cute. Sensual AF. Imma put it on that ep tho.P.S. i made french toast. It was fantastic.

weekend

i was in SC for work. another show, my fav jazz artist René Marie. it was wonderful seeing her again. shout out to Dokta_J for coming out and shenaniganin with me all weekend. ♡

travelin (long post)

so i was gifted a weekend experience in DC. last weekend i experienced the experience and lemme tell ya it was a fantastic time and i didn't wanna leave! it was my first time flying since January 2020. best experience tbh. i went to attend the JIDxSmino concert – my first intimate indoor concert as an audience member since pre-pandemic. it was so great i'm already tryna figure out who i wanna see next. i got to see and hang out with som...

dc

i'm havin a really fantastic time

keep rollin

i did a lot of travel for work the past few days. I'm real tired but i can't rest yet.let's see how long I'll continue doing these shows.(til eternity maybe??)I hope you have a great day.-Xayd P.S. i truly forgot about reposting the one from last week(?). The days are smashed together in a weird way and it's hard keeping track. my apologies, i'll get on that after the stream today.P.P.S. I'm streaming on the Xbox chann...

grief

the sky is a bit grey todayhas been for a whilei won't see the sun againuntil i see you smile

Yesterday

words are hard right now

bright

I've been trying to write a poem but it keeps splintering off into other thoughts and moments and so i end up starting 3 - 5 more and just leaving them. Half formed ideas, incomplete bars, bare bones sketches of what's going on in my head.Sometimes I don't actually wanna know what's going on in my head though..Oh well! Shit won't get writ if i don't actually do the thing~Happy New Yearnew poetry soon?- xayd

shaaa✨~

♡

pssst~♡

hey. shh. comere. i found something really old and potentially cool... even if a bit cheesy. it's a whole ass secret.i'm leaving the real explanation as a problem for Future Xayd.but just know.👁️👄👁️👁️👄👁️shush.kloveyoubye~

Adventures!

Last month, my Fraunt Reese visited for work and we went to the Center for Puppetry Arts. It was sooooo cool. Here are just a few photos.There were puppets from all over the world and different time periods. There were videos and interactive components. For example, the shadow puppets above could be controlled with the black & white knobs. There were also various marionettes and stick/wire puppets. I loved that there were activities for the kids ...