XaydLove posts
Posts: 154
Files: 455
Atlanta
I drove to Atlanta today to attend Thicc's birthday party. We went to karaoke and it was lit. I had a lot of fun despite being nervous about meeting JayBurritos & singing in front of people and all that.Anyway, here are some photos of the sky, in order from when I left home to getting into Atlanta, and finally in Thicc's car, headed to karaoke.Gonna go eat this can't now. K love you, bye
Thank you
Hey. I just wanna say hi and thank you for y'all's support and good vibes. I appreciate you. For real.Here are a few sky photos from when I left the house the other day. 💛Maybe I'll post more of those here since i don't leave the house often but I'm always interested in the clouds and the colors in the sky...What's something you always take a moment to enjoy/appreciate?
😬 about Sunday...
So if you missed it, on Sunday I had a subathon. I called it a Love-a-thon. I streamed for 15 hours. The community unlocked an ASMR reading stream, a music/karaoke stream, a limited edition merch item giveaway (congratulations KingSketchum), a Raven (DC Comics) cosplay stream, a live pie to the face, and Apex stream, and.....an EP of 5-7 songs, which they voted to be original songs. (Also, congratulations to T40Productions on being the highest ti...
Are You Breathing?
On Saturday, I got some unpleasant news. I spent an hour quietly crying and....not really breathing. I was a wreck. And then Sweet called me. She taught me a technique called square breathing. It's when you inhale, hold, exhale, hold, and repeat. So there's four parts to it which makes it a square. It's as simple as it is helpful. In quite literally 2 minutes I was breathing normally again. If you're ever in a situation where you&...
I dunno, fam...
I was going somewhere positive and then it went somewhere dark. I-I'll try again another time.
Danger...
I wrote this last year and i didn't realize there was a typo until recently...heh. enjoy.
Hmm...
So i got the Patreon app on my phone again and everything looks so different. I'm not sure if this means more frequent content, since i type my poetry on my phone late at night or what. But it'll be much easier to upload art photos. So y'all won't have to wait as long for me to send it to myself and then get on the computer to download and then post.How are y'all doing today?Do y'all know about ko-fi?I'm trying to deci...
143
I need another distraction.At a time where I'd rely on my words to help me express and understand what I'm feeling...my mind is empty save for three words.No, four. Four words. Three lil shmall, heavy ones and the last is your name.Damn, I love the way your name feels on my lips, tastes on my tongue…Such a shame i gotta say it into empty space, like speaking to a brick wall.And for the three little anvil words...143 has several meanings...
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I GOT A NEW LAMP!!!!!!!!!!!Video in discord 😅
with love
farmer xayd tends to her garden with love.
completed commission~
I finally shipped out Odemi the other day, and included this Alphonse doodle. Hopefully the recipient enjoys them both.
xaydverse???
i wanna try to get at least one more xaydverse drawing in before the end of the year. cuttin i close, yea. i know. but i really wanna keep with it. i'm not drawing as frequently as i'd like but i've been doin a lot so i'm giving myself a pass. fingers crossed we get my hands to do one more though. i wanna start the new year with getaway driver xayd...somehow.
an oldie
i wrote this back in 2018. it doesn't have a title....but it's similar to how i've been feelin lately.untitled | 16 Dec 2018I hear sirensa steady buildnot the emergency sirensbut more like the windscreaming? crying?a lone banshee passing by?I kinda wanna open the windowand sayme too, girlas she passes by.
Odemi...
i've been stuck but trying to work on a painting commission... this is my D&D OC, Odemi. i hope to finish this tomorrow...
gotta do the cookin by the book
this is baker xayd. she's bakin cakes.
we surfin
i love the ocean. i've always wanted to do something really really cool. surfing seems pretty dangerous and also neat. so why not lolyou'll see more of Surfer Xayd soon too
getawaydriver
this is the first of the xaydverse... all the alternate timelines.in this one, a getaway driver. i'm really good at having to drive with purpose, i think. so i'd likely be good at this....somewhere else. i'll likely revisit this one. i have more planned for her.
enter the xaydverse
so as yall probably know, i've been making lil comics. i missed a few days because of work but i'm trying to do them every day. bit ambitious, but they're not super elaborate, so that kinda helps.this is something i've been wanting to do for a long, long time. i kept thinking about all the thoughts & impulses i have. every decision i make, action i take (or don't). all those alternate timelines. what would i be doin in other t...
Would you be interested in an NSFW art tier?
I've been trying to figure out the best way to incorporate some other forms of art into my portfolio. I just want to know if anyone would be interested in seeing my progress with that.
i dunno
i'm not sure what i'm doing anymore. sorry for the lack of updates.i'm still grieving and ....failing. but i love you and i hope to be sunshine for us all again soon.
maybe next time it'll be better
i dont know what to say about this
i dont know either
this song really speaks to me because i have no idea what i'm doin or why i'm even here most of the time. i'm just .....here.... tryin my best.
new coping mechanisms
i decided to try crying into my microphone instead of drinking excessively
sadboi chronicles #4
Do you ever feel worthless? Like you try and try to be Someone to love, like, care for Someone worthy Of all the love and care you give others? Do you ever feel hopeless? Like no matter what you do Nothing you do to fix life Will ever work Your efforts don't amount to anything? Do you ever feel lightless? Like you're a black hole sun And it's raining inside And not even THE sun Can brighten up your world? Just darkness consuming all D...
Learning Clip Studio
I've been trying to learn how to use Clip Studio in between working on commissions. It's going about as well as I could hope without external help (so far). I'm doing a self portrait of sorts - me with the bunny ears. I have a feeling I'll be working on this for a while...
sadboi chronicles #3
Doomed -- 13 April 2021 1:23AMam i doomed to a life of darkness?a mime in the night.bumping into invisible walls.tripping over unseen obstacles.trying to find a little light.a little warmth.will you light my candle? will i always feel like i'm drowning?struggling to breathe when i can barely keep afloat.waves upon waves of turbulent sea crashing over me.swimming in the wrong direction.can no longer see the shore.will you be my lighthouse? wil...
sadboi chronicles #2
Singing -- 24 March 2021 3:36AMI've got the point where singing doesn't help anymore.I can sing til I'm hoarseSing til I'm out of wordsSing til it hurtsBut I'm still not out of tearsStill not out of painStill not out of the darkHow can I set myself freeWhen singing doesn't helpSinging used to be my releaseMy escapeMy solaceBut now it's just a thing i doAnd the feelings are too muchAnd the darkness is too darkHow do I s...
sadboi chronicles #1
I want you -- August 2020I wanna be alonebut i want youDont wanna stare at the phonebut i want youWaiting for you to say “hey”Waiting for you to brighten my dayIt’s hurting me to saybut i want youThey’re trying to pull me awaybut i want youWhy is it so hard for meTo let me just be me…..around youI’m constantly making myself smallerMaking myself tallerTrying to feel worthy of any attentionAny love that you give meI’m losing my mind, ...
Refresher
Today, I got a new patron (shoutout to Lester). It made me go back and actually look at my page, my intended purpose. Honestly, I have lost sight of what I really wanted to do with this. And by that, I mean I haven't known what I wanted to do with my life for a very long time. I just floated around, doing what felt right in accordance with what others wanted me to do.So.... I'm gonna not now :)That being said, more posts I hope. I've ...
New Computer
I was finally able to afford a new computer. I will be able to stream again starting tomorrow, thanks to my amazing patrons, family members, and community members. Thank you so much for believing in me and helping me during this heavy journey. I cannot wait to get back into the swing of things!!New art coming soon. The book will be finished (hopefully this week, fingers crossed). And I can finally breathe again. I'm so so so happy.I love you....
